If an ex says that they’re over you, many people consider this to be the final nail in the coffin, but words don’t always reflect the truth. It’s totally possible that your ex is full of crap. Here are the signs your ex is pretending to be over you when they’re really not.
- They stalk you on social media. It’s hard to believe that someone who constantly looks at your social media is truly over you. Even if they are angry with you, the fact that they’re watching your movements online shows that they still care a little bit. There’s still some emotion there, even if they’re not positive. A lot of the time, exes who still have feelings will go a step further and use social media to actually interact with you, via direct messaging or even publicly commenting on your posts.
- They ask people about you. Listen to the feedback that you receive from mutual friends. Most of the time, if your ex still has feelings, they won’t be able to help talking about you to people. They might ask how you’re going or bring you up. If they’re less discrete, they could even ask if you’re dating anyone new yet. Compare that to an ex who doesn’t care about you anymore. When a person no longer cares, why would they ask?
- They are furious with you. According to Mind Body Green, your ex being angry with you is a sign that they still care. Even if their feelings towards you aren’t positive, there is still that emotion there. You’ll know that they’re over you when they’re neutral and indifferent. Being furious shows that they still haven’t gotten over you or what happened in the relationship. That’s not to say that they want to get back together. Just that whatever happened between you is still real for them.
- They keep in touch with you. Sometimes, exes have to keep in touch and they have no choice. When there are kids in the picture, you’ll have to have some contact with your ex. Or if you work or study together, or have mutual friends, you’ll have to see each other sometimes. But if your ex keeps in touch with you when they have no reason to, it’s usually a sign that they still have feelings. Often, if they’re keeping in touch, those feelings are positive—people who are furious don’t typically try to keep their exes in their lives.
- They go to places where they expect to see you. An ex might not directly reach out to you to keep in touch. But they might go to places where they’d expect to run into you. For example, they might go more frequently to a gym you go to, or they might attend parties that you’ll be at when they never would have attended before. If they do this and it’s not the norm for them, it could be that they’re hoping to see you because they still feel something for you.
More signs your ex is pretending to be over you
- They “sell” that they’re over you. When someone bombards you with something over and over again, such as constantly telling you they’re happy or that they don’t love you anymore, it’s called “selling”. Generally in life, people who have to “sell” you things are also trying to convince themselves of whatever they’re selling, meaning it’s not true. If they say once that they’re over you, believe them. But if they feel the need to tell you every time they see you, perhaps that’s a lie that they’re trying to make you (and themselves) believe.
- They flirt with you. This is a pretty obvious sign that your ex still has feelings. No ex who is truly over you would want to open a can of worms by flirting with you. Unless your ex is truly vindictive and manipulative and is the type to flirt with you to get your hopes up and then drop you for revenge, chances are they won’t flirt unless they genuinely still have feelings.
- They bring up memories. Bringing up memories is another clear sign that your ex isn’t over you. The act of talking about memories shows that those memories bring them comfort. And when you’re truly over your ex, you don’t typically tend to rely on memories with them for happiness or comfort.
- They try to make you jealous. And ex will usually try to make you jealous because they’re immature and spiteful. But most of the time, even if they are those things, they do that because they are only pretending to be over you. When someone is truly over you, they don’t care enough about you to make you jealous.
- They act jealous when they see you with someone else. Similarly, it’s only natural that an ex who still has feelings won’t like seeing you with someone else. Even if they don’t admit they’re jealous, they’ll show you how they’re feeling through their actions. As soon as you start dating someone else, they might start talking badly about that person or acting hostile towards them. Content exes don’t tend to act this way.
