Do you struggle to eat dinner at a restaurant alone for fear of being judged? Do you have a full-blown panic attack when all your friends have partners and you’re the only single one? Being afraid of being alone can prevent you from doing what you want and enjoying your freedom. Instead, you might be resorting to unhealthy habits that are bringing drama to your doorstep and making you unhappy. Here are 10 things people do when they’re afraid of being alone, and why they don’t work.
1. You Try To Avoid Any Alone Time.
Does the thought of having any alone time make you feel stressed out? You might go out of your way to avoid alone time, because you don’t want to sit in the quiet and let your feelings or thoughts surface. Yikes. Try to get into the habit of being alone – it’s crucial for your soul to recharge and for you to take stock of your life. You can’t do this – or enjoy your own company – if you’re around people all the time.
2. You Connect With “Friends” You Don’t Really Like.
You’re alone on a Saturday night, so instead of staying home and watching TV, you reach out to an old acquaintance or frenemy and see if they want to go out. Although this makes you feel better in the moment, the feeling doesn’t last. The night might be boring or upsetting if you’re forcing yourself to hang out with someone you don’t even like. It’s not worth it!
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4. You Date Down To Avoid Being Single.
When you’ve been single for weeks or months, you might start getting frustrated. So, you’ll accept a date with a guy who doesn’t really tick all your boxes but seems “okay.” Geez, that’s so depressing! What’s the point of dating someone that you don’t even want to get to know? Where’s the fun in that? It’s honestly better for you to stay home alone. It’s time to raise your standards, ladies!
5. You Try Your Hardest To Fit Into A Group.
Since you want to connect with people and have a big social circle, you might try really hard to be accepted by others. This could cause you to tone down your opinions and feelings so you fit in with what other people want and like. Although this could get you into social groups, it won’t make you happy. Its sucks to feel like you can’t be yourself!
6. You Go The Extra Mile For People.
When trying to impress people, you might go the extra mile to show them how amazing you are so they’ll accept you. So, you’ll drive across town to help a new friend move homes or you’ll conduct intensive job searches for your friend who’s between jobs. While this might make you accepted, it could also backfire by making people wonder if you have a hidden agenda. Or, they could take advantage of your kindness.
7. You’re a Fence Talker With Your Neighbors.
Are you the type of person who’ll go over to new neighbors in your apartment building or street and introduce yourself or immediately invite them over for drinks? When you see your neighbors arrive home, do you pop over to chat to them? Although you’re charming and friendly, you don’t want to seem like you’re desperate to connect.
8. You Fill Up Your Social Schedule.
Since you don’t want to be alone, you’ll pack your social schedule so that you always have something going on. Woah, talk about feeling exhausted with all the partying you have to do. You might also find yourself feeling depressed because you don’t give yourself time to relax and just be, or because you’re spending time in social situations you don’t even like.
9. You Jump From One Relationship To Another.
When a relationship ends, you don’t waste time wallowing or staying home alone – you jump straight into a new relationship. This means you could be settling for relationships that don’t make you happy. You never give yourself the chance to reflect on breakups, so you risk carrying all your emotional baggage into new relationships.
10. You’re Clingy In Relationships.
The fear of being alone can become intense. You might be so scared that people in your life are going to leave you that you become a stage-five clinger to keep them around. Maybe you text the person you’re dating throughout the day and question them if they’re not quick enough to reply. Or, you try to rush through dating milestones so you lock the person down. Yikes! This is probably going to backfire and push them away.
11. You Miss Out On Opportunities.
If you never spend time alone, you can miss out on many opportunities. You don’t get a chance to learn about yourself and stand on your own two feet. You don’t get to see how strong you can be when you depend on yourself! That’s sad because you’re letting other people prevent you from gaining greater self-knowledge and growth. While you might be afraid of being alone, it could be the best thing that happens to you. Really.
