10 Thoughts You Have During A Terrible First Date

You looked forward to your date all week, carefully picked out a look, passed up plans with your friends, and now that it’s happening… it sucks. The conversation is awkward, you’re uncomfortable, and there’s absolutely no chemistry. Your mind starts to wander as you realize you are kind of stuck there, and this makes it even harder to salvage the evening. While you suffer though a horrible first date, these 10 thoughts are guaranteed to cross your mind:

  1. “I can’t believe I wasted a perfect date outfit on this.” The perfect date outfit is a rare and treasured find. When you put it on, you feel sexy, confident, and ready for the fellas to fall at your feet. Now that you’ve realized your date is a dud, you wish on your lucky stars that you don’t spill anything or run into anyone you know so you can recycle it for a future, better date.
  2. “I wonder what my friends are doing.” They’re probably somewhere interesting having fun! Maybe it would be OK to check your texts real quick, or scroll through Instagram from the bathroom stall, or hail a cab and go find them…
  3. “I hope he offers to pay.” Let’s be real- between clothes, make up, hair, nails, and accessories, you’ve already gone way into the red just to make it to this miserable date. The least he could do is pick up the tab and distribute the cost of this disappointing evening more evenly.
  4. “How fast can an Uber get here?” If you can’t get a car in the next 10 minutes, you definitely need to get another round of drinks now. If there’s an Uber within a few block radius, you might order it while your date’s in the bathroom and text him a phony emergency from the car.
  5. “Maybe I can get some, anyway.” So he’s not the one, but two consenting adults who don’t actually like each other at all can still get it on, right? There’s hope for getting a little satisfaction out of your evening, at least.
  6. “Where the hell is my food?” Carrying this painful conversation would be so much easier with chewing breaks, plus the sooner you eat, the sooner you can leave. You hope your server hasn’t forgotten about you, as the regular check ins are actually a welcome change of pace from this excruciating first date small talk.
  7. “I’m going to kill [insert person’s name that set you up here].” Why did they do this to you? You thought they were your friend, but obviously they’re someone who thinks you are compatible with this moron they set you up with. Great.
  8. “Why did I waste so much time getting ready?” You totally could have fit in a cardio sesh if you hadn’t spent an hour cultivating the perfect bombshell curls. At least you can get a cute selfie out of the night.
  9. “Is it OK to bail yet?” How about now? Now?
  10. “How much do I care about hurting his feelings?” It’s always OK to be rude when you’re receiving unwanted attention or dealing with a loser>, but what if the guy’s perfectly nice but just not the one for you? Should you let him down easy, be blunt and honest, or be cruel to be kind? Or just run away when he’s not paying attention?
Holly Harris is a freelance writer, full time student, and mommy to a toddler sass monster. In her (nearly nonexistent) free time, you can find her lifting something heavy in her home gym or chugging vodka sodas with friends. She contributes to several other sites, including Elite Daily.
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