Don’t you just hate it when you’re vibing with a guy and then you discover that he has a whole lot of baggage you didn’t sign up for? You feel disappointed and a little angry about the time you wasted on someone that simply wasn’t worth the trouble. The dating world is saturated with different kinds of men, and here are some that you should do your best to avoid.
Mr “I’m too broken for love”
This guy wears his dysfunction and trauma like it’s a badge of honor. Even before you get to know him really well, he lets you know that he’s suffered through life and he’s not sure that he can fully give himself to a relationship. Maybe he had a terrible childhood or a slew of devastating breakups and you might be tempted to be the one who heals him. Don’t play yourself like that. Just stay away.
Mr. Take and never give
He’s always asking you for favors. Can you please help him do laundry? Can you lend him money? Can you stop by with dinner because he’s too lazy to go out? Men like this think only their needs are valid. They don’t care when you have to inconvenience yourself to please them. They want things and they expect you to satisfy their needs without asking for anything in return.
Maybe he can’t keep a job to save his life. Maybe he has one too many bad habits. Maybe he’s super lazy or lacks ambition and sense of purpose. Whatever it is, you think that all he needs is a little polishing to make him shine. You’ll spend your time and energy trying to change him for the better and nothing will come of it because he’s not ready to change.
The master manipulator
The tricky thing with this type of guy is that you don’t often realize that they’re messing with your head until you’re in deep. They always know the right thing to say to have you feeling light as air. Once you fall for them, that is when the games begin. Even if they do care about you, it’d be far less than they care about themselves. They’ll manipulate you into feeling paranoid, jealous, crazy, or insecure as long as it benefits them.
It can seem flattering that he cares about you so much and wants to be around you all the time, but none of it is coming from a healthy place. He doesn’t like when you go out with other people. He’s constantly checking in to see where you are and what you’re up to. He constantly questions your affections for him so you can feel guilty and reassure him. He’s dealing with insecurities, so you’ll constantly be auditioning for the relationship.
The low-key lover
You’ve been going out with him for a while, but you only ever spend time alone together. He hasn’t introduced you to any of his friends and he keeps wiggling out of meeting your friends. He’s all loving and affectionate when it’s just the two of you, but he doesn’t act that way when there are other people present. You shouldn’t be with a guy who is not proud and willing to show you off to the entire world.
You don’t want to spend all your time trying to figure out what’s bothering him or what he’s thinking. You’re dating a man not a complex math equation. This guy is terrible at communicating or plain reluctant to do so. You’ll go crazy trying to get him to open up, so why not just save yourself the trouble and avoid him completely?
You don’t want this type of guy in your life because he’s just going to put a damper on the entire year. He always has stuff to complain about and doesn’t think there’s any good or happiness to be found in the world. You could tell him you got a promotion and he’ll find a way to make it seem like it’s not worth celebrating.
One minute, he can’t get enough of you, he’s texting and calling constantly, chasing you with passion, showering you with attention, and being an all-round great guy. The next, he goes cold and locks you out, then the cycle repeats himself. He can’t seem to make up his mind about you, so he’s just going to keep sprinkling disappointment around your life.
There a difference between having a healthy self-esteem and being self-absorbed and conceited. This type of guy thinks the sun rises and sets on their back. They only think about themselves and expect other people to center them in their own lives. They never stop tooting their own horns and they’re good at hijacking emotions.
The ‘no commitment today, come tomorrow’ guy
You definitely want to avoid men like this. This guy has a charming personality and he treats you good. He says he’s not ready for a relationship right now but he makes you feel like he could want one with you given time. Many months or years down the line, you’ll realize that you’re still waiting and he’s still not ready.
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