11 Ways Dating Is Even Harder For Women Who Refuse To Settle

11 Ways Dating Is Even Harder For Women Who Refuse To Settle ©iStock/javi_indy

Regardless of what anyone would have you believe, there’s nothing wrong with refusing to settle. If we all raise our standards and insist that we deserve more, guys will start getting the message that it’s time to rise to the occasion. Until that day comes, dating is a serious struggle when you won’t accept the bare minimum.

  1. Guys get angry at you when you tell them you don’t want to see them again. They seem to be having a good time on your date and tell you as much when you’re saying goodnight. But as soon as you tell them you’re not interested in going out with them again, they pull a Jekyll and Hyde style switch on you, going off on you and telling you what an unworthy girlfriend you’d make anyway.
  2. You hate talking to your married friends about dating because you’re always worried about offending them. It’s OK for them to go on about how awesome it is to be married, but you get the feeling that it’s not OK for you to tell them about all the fun aspects of being single, having no responsibilities, and loving your freedom. Boo.
  3. You keep on making excuses to swipe left. He’s a witty, educated intellectual who’s a self-avowed feminist and animal lover? Probably an a-hole. Or boring. Next.
  4. Everyone keeps telling you that your standards being too high. You’ve heard it from everyone and you’re tired of defending yourself. Instead, you just own it. It’s true: you’re awesome. So yes, you want a awesome boyfriend as well. What of it?
  5. Your friends have stopped trying to set you up. They know before even asking you that he’s not going to meet your criteria, so they just don’t even bother anymore. Don’t think of it as a bad thing. They’re doing you a favor in the end.
  6. You’ve already resigned yourself to being single for life, and you’re actually OK with it. You’ve learned to ignore your biological clock and have at least a marginal awareness of options for adoption or single parenthood, if being a parent is important to you. You also have a solid group of dependable friends. Basically, you’re set.
  7. You’ve been called cold, heartless, or asexual. Probably by the same men that you’ve either refused to date or dated and then rejected… which just confirms your decision that much more.
  8. You have to rehearse your answer to the “why are you still single?” question before all major holidays and family gatherings. “Why are you still married to your a-hole spouse?” Oh, oops. Were you not supposed to say that?
  9. You find yourself trying to come up with reasons to cancel your upcoming date this weekend. Your thermometer says you don’t have a fever, but maybe it’s broken. Also, you’ve totally been meaning to clean your windows, mop your floors, and anything that doesn’t involve another miserable date.
  10. You are SO sexually frustrated sometimes. You’re not going to sleep with someone you don’t truly care about, but sometimes you almost wish you were the type of person who would.
  11. You just. Can’t. Even. You’re so tired of everything that sometimes you just need a break. Give yourself one! After all, that’s what your girlfriends are for!
Jessica Levy is a freelance blogger and content writer. She’s also a politics junkie, a fledgling foodie, and a frequent traveler. She has lived in Morocco, Israel, India, and Barbados, and never wants to be cold again. Follow her on Twitter!