A person’s social media is like a bizarre window into their soul —or at least the version of their soul that they feel like showing to the world. In any case, it’s a common (and smart) practice to check out a guy’s accounts before going on a first date or solidifying a crush. But are you looking for the right stuff? Here are 12 red flags on a guy’s social media that should make you run for the hills.
- His relationship status is “It’s Complicated.” Pretty simplistic, but crucial nonetheless. Checking someone’s relationship status on Facebook might seem so 2009 — who even updates that sh*t anymore? — but seeing what he’s taken the time to list is pretty telling. Saying that his love life is “complicated” is probably alluding to non-committal relationships, and that might not be what you’re looking for. If he’s “In a Relationship” with a “friend,” it’s likely that you might have some competition before you’ve even begun.
- There are tons of pictures of him posing with different women. The number one way to know if you’re interested in a playboy? Looking through his Instagram grid. If it seems like he’s posting pictures of his shenanigans every week, each one with a few different women on his arm, you can probably put two and two together.
- He instigates Twitter fights or writes angry posts. You know the guy, the one who writes passive-aggressive Facebook posts about how “all lives matter” and feels the need to provoke random people (famous or otherwise) in douchey Twitter (sorry, X) fights. It might be that he has a different worldview than yours—maybe one you don’t agree with. Worse, it could allude to anger issues or a vicious need for attention. Whichever it is, I have two words: toxic behavior.
- He flaunts a social issue or donation to a cause. On the other hand, he might consider himself a super woke guy or someone who really loves helping others. Now, don’t get me wrong, that’s great, but there’s a difference between using social media to help marginalized groups or making a donation to Hurricane Harvey relief efforts and straight-up bragging about it. These problems aren’t there for people to brag about or make themselves seem awesome.
- He’s pushing you to talk on Snapchat. Texting and Snapchat texting are two very different things. If guys want to talk to you via text, it’s likely he wants to get to know you better. If they’re subtly (or not-so-subtly) trying to get you to text via Snapchat? He may have other things in mind. Hey, we’re just saying, don’t be too surprised if you get a “Pics? ;)” message soon after. (And if you weren’t aware that people are even still on Snapchat, the app apparently has 363 million users as of 2023).
- You’re not featured on his social media accounts. This one obviously only really applies if you’re seeing the dude in question. If the most you’ve seen of yourself on a guy’s Instagram is your elbow in the corner of a brunch pic, you might have a reason to be concerned. It seems like worst-case scenario thinking, but it could be that he doesn’t want friends or even other girls to see that you’re in the picture. Literally.
- His statuses are mainly negative. There’s nothing wrong with having a bad day and occasionally venting about it on social media, but it’s important to not if all of his statuses are serious downers.
- He’s constantly online. Yeah, true, we’re all a little addicted to social media in 2023, but anyone who seems to be CONSTANTLY on social media might be flying a red flag. It could be they’re constantly trolling for ladies or, worse, that they have no hobbies or interests outside of social media.
- The word “I” seems to be his favorite thing. Constant posts about what’s going on in his life? All the accomplishments HE did? Every great thing in HIS life? There’s nothing wrong with a humble brag every now and again, but a Facebook wall full of bragging doesn’t lie. The last thing you want to do is end up dating a narcissist.
- He retweets or reposts people you DON’T agree with. Does he retweet @therealDonaldTrump at least every other day? Does that make you want to scream into his ear? Keeping an eye on who he follows and reposts will tell you volumes about what his values are—and if they line up with yours.
- You notice the same women liking/commenting on his posts. After looking through his Instas, you might see the same name popping up over and over. If it’s a female, it’s reasonable for you to be sus. Sure, it could be a cousin or a really good friend, but some light stalking might uncover it’s an FWB he has every intention to keep seeing.
- The Instagram accounts he follows are very sexual. We’ll admit, a few “girl in yoga pants” IG accounts is probably harmless, but if the majority of the accounts he follows are sexual in nature, that’s a heads-up you shouldn’t ignore.
- He doesn’t let you follow him. Again, this is mainly worrisome if you’re seeing/dating the guy in question. But if he won’t let you follow him on certain (or all) accounts, you can pretty easily call bullshit. Try asking him why he won’t accept your invite, and it’s likely you’ll be able to see right through his ridiculous excuse.