13 Reasons Being Single For Long Periods Makes You a Better Catch

Before you can share your life with someone else, it’s a good idea if you know exactly who you are and what you want. Rushing into things before you’ve done the work, so to speak, in your own life is pretty much guaranteed to end in disaster. However, doing that work is likely to mean you end up being single for much longer than your peers. But so what? Even if everyone around you is coupling up and settling down, that doesn’t mean you’re behind because you’re not following suit just yet. In fact, here’s why being single makes you even more of a catch for your eventual partner.

  1. You know who you are. Too many people get into relationships when they’re young, before they even know who they really are. The person you are at 21 is far different than the woman you’ll be at 25 or even 30. With each year you learn more about who are and what you believe. You become not just a catch because of it, but a whole and complete person.
  2. You’re not needy. You’ve been single long enough to know that, although having a partner is great, you don’t need one. You can kill the big, scary spider yourself, treat yourself to dinner, and aren’t going to have an emotional breakdown if you don’t get a text every hour from the person you’re dating. Your ability to stand on your own and not see a relationship as a crutch on which to lean will come across as refreshing to someone interested in dating you.
  3. You have your priorities in line. Being alone has given you ample time to realize what’s important and what’s not. You don’t let yourself get distracted by drama or silly things and always have your eye on moving forward toward your goal. If only everyone could have that crap in order.
  4. You can take care of yourself. Sure, you can kill the spider in your apartment yourself, but you can also stand up for yourself, pay your bills on time, and other grown-up things like supporting yourself both emotionally and financially. Your independency makes it so you have no need for someone to sweep you off your feet and take care of you. (Although there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be spoiled sometimes.)
  5. You have a career. You’re not sitting around trying to get your Mrs. title because you’re too busy focusing on getting your CEO. There’s nothing sexier than a woman with ambition, especially one who isn’t counting down the days to which she’ll become Mrs. So And So.
  6. You have established great friendships. Friendships teach people how to communicate and create healthy bonds even if they’re not romantic relationships. In doing so, you’re preparing yourself to make for one hell of a partner.
  7. You have lots of interests. Being single has given you time to try out things you’ve always wanted to. You have a weekly trapeze class, know that you’re awesome at weaving, and have already been to 22 countries, (and you’re just getting started!) Having so many interests makes you even more interesting, of course. Who wouldn’t want to be with you to celebrate when you reach country #50?
  8. You have a life. Between your career and your friends and everything else you have going on, you have a full life. This makes you a catch because most people want to become part of someone’s life, not be the reason that person suddenly has a life.
  9. You’re happy doing your own thing. Your date cancels? No big deal. They feel like hanging out with their friends and not you? Whatever. You’ve got it covered because you genuinely enjoy your own company and experiencing things on your own.
  10. You won’t be settling. One of the saddest qualities in a human being, especially when it comes to dating, is settling. It’s more than just giving up, but actually resigning to a fallacy that nothing better is coming along. People can smell that level of desperation miles away; a smell that no one will ever smell on you because you just don’t have it.
  11. You don’t play games. Having become the complete person you are thanks to being single for so long, you don’t play games and that’s a trait that so many people love. Dating often comes with too much BS and skirting around issues, but you don’t play that way, because your time is too valuable to waste it on games.
  12. You can function without a partner. The fact that you are so able to just be you without anyone else messing with it makes you almost an anomaly. People don’t want to be the reason someone gets out of bed (unless they’re a control freak, of course), and with you, that will never be an issue. You get out of bed because you have a life to live and things to do, and yes, at some point, that will involve kissing your partner.
  13. You know the difference between need and want. “Needing” something can be dangerous, especially when it’s confused with “wanting.” Ultimately, what makes you such a catch is the fact that you want a relationship with someone, but you don’t need it… and that’s an awesome way to live.
Amanda Chatel is a sexual health, mental health, and wellness journalist with more than a decade of experience. Her work has been featured in Shape, Glamour, SELF, Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Elle, Mic, Men's Health and Bustle, where she was a lifestyle writer for seven years. In 2019, The League included Amanda in their "15 Inspirational Feminists Every Single Person Should Follow on Twitter" list.

Amanda has a bachelor's degree in English and master's degree in Creative Writing from the University of New Hampshire. She divides her time between NYC, Paris, and Barcelona.

You can follow her on Instagram @la_chatel or on Twitter @angrychatel.