15 Phrases Socially Intelligent People Use To Make An Instant Connection

15 Phrases Socially Intelligent People Use To Make An Instant Connection

Social intelligence is the ability to understand your own and other people’s actions. It’s a learned skill that develops over time as we build experience in social settings. From your relationships with family and friend groups to how well you can connect with your colleagues and acquaintances, social intelligence is an important interpersonal skill that makes navigating through life a little easier. It’s also a skill that comes more naturally to some people than others, but anyone can learn if they put in the effort. Here are some things you might hear someone with high social intelligence say.

1. “Tell me more.”

Showing genuine interest in other people and what they have to say is a huge part of social intelligence. Conversations are as much about listening as they are about making your own contributions and socially intelligent people can recognize when it’s someone else’s turn to speak.

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2. “I can totally relate.”

two colleagues chatting at work

Making people feel seen and heard is an invaluable quality that every social intelligent person has honed over the years. Telling someone you relate you their feelings or experiences opens the door for a deeper connection and can lead to even more rewarding relationships.

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3. What are your thoughts on…”

two friends looking at a cell phone

Asking for someone’s opinion is a way to communicate that you’re interested in them and what they have to say. Socially intelligent people know that some people are more reserved when it comes to expressing themselves, and it can help to ask them directly if they want to share their thoughts.

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4. “I understand where you’re coming from.”

When it comes to receiving criticism, socially intelligent people listen carefully before responding. They know that acting defensive or shutting out criticism won’t get them anywhere, so they strive to understand context and do their best to respond appropriately.

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5. “Personally, I don’t agree.”

Social intelligence isn’t about never voicing your opinion for fear of offending someone. Instead, it’s about articulating your point of view while leaving room for other perspectives to exist. Telling someone they are wrong can come across as closed-minded and rigid. Socially intelligent people know the world is full of all kinds of experiences, and you won’t necessarily personally relate to all of them–but that doesn’t mean they aren’t valid.

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6. “I feel…”

Instead of making definitive statements like “you always” or “you never”, socially intelligent people approach an argument in a less threatening way by leading with their personal feelings. This prevents the other person from immediately becoming defensive and opens them up to having a more constructive conversation about issues at hand.

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7. “I admire how you…”

two men laughing and chatting on city street

Most people are looking for validation in one way or another. A socially intelligent person knows how to make other people feel confident by complimenting things like their work ethic or how they handled a difficult situation.

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8. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

men talking at outdoor cafe

It can be difficult to know what to say to people who are going through a difficult time, but a socially intelligent person has learned how to express sympathy in a way that is genuine and appropriate for the circumstances. Along with social intelligence is the ability to feel empathy for other people, which is an essential part of building trust in relationships.

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9. “Do you have any advice?”

In a world where people give unsolicited advice without a second thought, a socially intelligent person understands that you have to take a lot of other people’s suggestions with a grain of salt. At the same time, they know advice from the right person at the right moment can be invaluable and asking for help can be a great way to show someone how much you trust their opinion.

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10. “Thank you for your patience.”

If someone has been waiting for you, the polite thing to do is acknowledge and thank them. Without that, they might get the impression you don’t think their time is important, and no one likes people who waste their time. Socially intelligent people always make sure to show their appreciation when people go out of their way for them.

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11. “I was wrong.”

three male friends chatting on bench

A socially intelligent person is self-aware, and that means they’re able to admit when they’re wrong even if it means swallowing their pride. No one is perfect and mistakes happen. What really matters is how you own up to your mistakes and where you go from there.

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12. “I’m sorry.”

two women chatting at cafe

A lot of conflicts can be resolved with a simple-yet-genuine apology. Socially intelligent people don’t want others to be hurt by their actions and they are quick with an apology when it is warranted. At the same time, they know that empty apologies aren’t necessarily a solution and they have to continue to show their remorse through their actions.

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13. “I appreciate your help.”

male and female friend walking down the street

Thank you is a social norm, but saying you appreciate someone’s effort takes it a step further. It acknowledges that someone has gone out of their way for you and they weren’t obligated to do so. Socially intelligent people understand when a plain thank you isn’t quite enough and they’ll make sure to add a personal touch.

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14. “How can I help?”

Socially intelligent people want to help, it’s just how they are. They know that relationships are all about building trust and being there for each other. From picking up groceries for their mom to watching their friend’s pet for a weekend to offering to take on a project at work for an overwhelmed coworker, offering to help whenever they can is important to them.

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15. “I’ve never thought about it that way.”

colleagues having business meetingiStock/hobo_018

We all have our own way of seeing the world and it’s not always easy to see things from a different perspective. A socially intelligent person is interested in learning about the things they don’t understand. To do that, they remain open to what other people have to say–and they take the time to genuinely consider things from all angles.

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By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.
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