15 Signs You’re Dating a Total Cheapskate

Money surely isn’t everything, but if your guy refuses to spend any of his on you, it’s something to worry about. It’s one thing if he’s legitimately broke or saving for a house for your future, it’s another if he’s just downright cheap. Here’s how to tell the difference between the two – because if any of these fit him, he’s likely a cheapskate.

  1. He’s a crappy tipper. He knows enough to leave some sort of tip, but his measly 10% is almost as obnoxious as nothing at all. If he can’t afford the tip on that fancy dinner, he should have just ordered you guys a pizza.
  2. He avoids group dates. He knows which friends always have to order dessert and which ones insist on picking the most expensive wine… and he refuses to dine out (aka split the check) with any of them.
  3. He would rather hang out at home. Anytime you suggest doing anything that costs even a little bit of money, he goes into his spiel about being a homebody. But anytime someone else is footing the bill, he can’t leave the house fast enough.
  4. He Groupons. Coupons are cool and all – who doesn’t appreciate a good deal? But when Groupon dictates where you can go on all your dates, he cares more about that 2 for 1 special than he does your relationship.
  5. He “doesn’t support Hallmark holidays”. Sure, Valentine’s Day has been blown way out of proportion, but if $2.50 for a card where he expresses all his love for you is too much of a splurge, it’s time to start writing your name in hearts with someone else’s.
  6. He will not pay to park. Despite how far the walk is or how high your heels are, $5 to park is out of the question.
  7. He would rather drive home drunk than pay for a cab. Someone should probably tell him how much DUIs cost these days, and you should probably find another ride home… and another boyfriend.
  8. He hates flying. Okay, so it’s slightly possible that he has a real life flying phobia, but chances are he hates the price tag on the flight more than the flight itself.
  9. He refuses to update his wardrobe. He’s wearing all the same clothes he’s had since college, and college was over ten years ago.
  10. He always “forgets” his wallet. Even when he orders the pizza with extra anchovies that he knows you won’t even eat, you somehow get stuck paying for it.
  11. Moving in is all about saving money. He finally asks you to move in and you’re elated, but instead of mentioning it’s because he wants to be with you 24/7, he’s ecstatic over how much money he’ll save by splitting his rent.
  12. He makes snide remarks about the cost of everything. Three month’s salary on an engagement ring? Not in this lifetime.
  13. He scoffs at how much money you spend. Shaming you for “overspending” is just a deflection for him being cheap.
  14. He brings his flask everywhere. And it’s not about being prepared. Flasks are perfect for pre-gaming and venues that don’t serve alcohol (college football stadiums), not the bar you frequent for happy hour.
  15. He talks about money all the time. So declassee.
Rachael is an award winning stand-up comedienne, freelance writer, and BravoTV superfan. Her Real Housewives tagline is “The only thing bigger than my boobs are my personalities.” In her spare time, she keeps busy catering to the needs of a very spoiled Siberian Husky, (Paris Hilton), cleaning the skeletons out of her closet (to make room for more shoes), and swiping left to everyone on Tinder. Follow her on twitter @therealplandd.