I’m just going to be straight up: I’ve had a lot of bad days. Maybe it’s my depression, anxiety, PTSD, or just the state of the world (my therapist loves me), but I am no stranger to a full 24 hours (sometimes more) of staring at the wall while slowly slipping into madness. It’s not fun, which is why I want to share the knowledge I’ve gained in therapy about exactly how to deal with a crappy day when it comes around.
1. Move your body.
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Ever heard of a thing called endorphins? They’re a happy hormone that gets released when you do physical activity. I know, it’s really annoying but it’s science and it works. Whether you keep it simple with a walk, make it fun with some dancing (my personal favorite), or go hard with a full lifting session (I could never), moving will help release some of that ickiness.
2. Take a shower.
I swear the shower has magical healing properties — it’s like hitting the reset button. Don’t worry, I’m not going to be weird and tell you to make it freezing cold (unless that’s your bag )—turn it to the perfect temperature and hop in there champ. If you have the energy, make it nice in your bathroom: light some candles, break out your expensive lotions and potions, and play some spa sounds.
3. Talk to a friend or family member.
It’s helpful to check in with yourself before you reach out and figure out what you need from this person so they can help you to the best of their ability. Something I say when talking to someone is to mention whether I need a shoulder or a solution—a shoulder if I just want them to listen or a solution if I need some advice. The bottom line: lean on your support system—they’re there for a reason.
4. Get off social media.
Social media is the crux of all evil. I’m exaggerating (not really) but it does a number on your mental health. I know doom-scrolling feels almost second nature at this point, but you have to fight the urge because it’s just not good for the noggin. In replacement, may I suggest an adult coloring book or perhaps reading?
5. Journal.
Sometimes you just have to let it out. There’s no better place to do that than in a journal—you can write down your innermost thoughts and not only not be judged for them but also release them. You can even make it fun by writing creatively—like writing about your bad day like it’s a screenplay or just writing whatever comes out. Grab your pen and jot it down.
6. Spend time with some animals.
I don’t know about you but my dog makes everything better (I can feel the cute aggression rising with every letter I type). When I’m feeling down, I’ll lie down in his bed with him (is that weird?) and snuggle. If you have a pet, great. If you don’t, no worries. Maybe you could play with a friend’s pet, go to a local shelter, or just look at pictures on the internet if there’s no way you’re moving. Instant dopamine.
7. Listen to some music.
This is probably my favorite tip on this list because there is truly nothing that can lift me up like a certified bop does. The room for possibilities with this one I tell you—you can snuggle up on your couch and listen, belt it out, or do a full two-hour show complete with a hairbrush as a microphone (or if you’re feeling really jazzy, an AirPod and pretend like you have one of those cool headsets). Turn up your favorite tunes and I promise you will feel like a brand new person.
8. Watch a funny movie.
Throw on something you’ve seen (and have laughed at) 1,000 times, maybe change into a fresh pair of sweatpants, and sink into your couch. Grab some snacks too, because snacks are always a mood-booster.
9. Take a nap.
Out of all the bad days I’ve had, I’d say a lot of them were due to me being tired. That’s why I’m a huge proponent of naps, because, at the end of the day, we’re all just grown-up babies right? So when you’re having a difficult day, put yourself down for a nice little doze. Want to enhance the experience? Play binaural beats to take you straight to sleep.
10. Clean up your space.
When I am in the throes of a bad day, the last thing I want to do is clean (ew!). It’s boring, makes me sweaty, and is just so hard to do. Finding the motivation to do this is not easy—I won’t lie—but if you can get yourself to do it, it’s worth it. There’s something about a mess-free, nice-smelling space that makes things even the tiniest bit better.
11. Take a look at a feelings wheel.
If you’ve never heard of a feelings wheel, it’s a wheel full of emotions that break down into secondary and tertiary emotions so you can pinpoint exactly how you’re feeling. You might think this is silly because when you’re having a bad day, it’s obvious what feelings you’re feeling (mad, sad, angry), right? Not exactly. Sure, those may be what you’re feeling on the surface, but behind every surface emotion is a deeper, more specific one. It’s helpful to know what that is so (as therapists say) you can name it to tame it.
12. Take some deep breaths.
You’ve probably heard of this one before—that’s because it does what it’s supposed to do. It calms your nervous system, which when you’re having a bad day is on high alert. There are lots of techniques: box breathing, belly breathing, diaphragmatic breathing, alternate nostril breathing. Pick your poison and bring your system back to baseline.
13. Try grounding.
You know how they say, “Go touch grass?” That’s basically the idea of this tip—if you have access to a park or patch of grass, it can feel amazing to plop your bare feet on the earth (it’s backed by science). If you’re not near nature or it’s cold out, you can also try sitting on a cold tile floor or a plushy carpet.
14. Give yourself permission to have a bad day.
The kind of annoying truth about life is that bad days are inevitable—they’ve happened and will continue to happen. Now, that sounds a bit pessimistic, but stick with me: when you can accept the fact that bad days just happen, it can take the emotional charge away. What I mean is when you fight your feelings, they just come back tenfold. But when you let them do their thing? They’ll eventually feel satisfied and then balance out. So invite your feelings in for a drink and maybe offer them a blanket.
15. Do something nice for someone else.
This one depends on your level of bad day because there have been plenty of times when I didn’t want to think about anyone but myself. So, if you’re at that point, I highly recommend ignoring this. If you’re not, then send a friend a nice text, volunteer, or bake some cookies for your neighbor. It’ll feel really nice to take the focus off of your bad day and onto making someone else’s day better.
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