The Worst Places To Have A First Date & Why They Suck

The Worst Places To Have A First Date & Why They Suck

If you’re really trying to impress someone, putting a first date together seems like an impossible feat. Choosing the wrong venue might end with a lack of a second date, a bad first impression, or a totally underwhelmed dating partner. If you choose one of these 10 venues for a first date, be forewarned — it might be the reason that you’re still single.

  1. A concert. If you both like the same music, it may seem like a great pick. Realistically, it might even be a good idea if you’ve known each other for a while. However, if you’re literally just starting out, then you’ll have a very hard time establishing a connection over the loud music. Do you really want to shout conversations from the top of your lungs all night?
  2. A BDSM party. This should go without saying, but if you go to a sex party as a first date thing, then you’re probably not going to see the first date through. It’s basically a giant red flag, wrapped in a burrito made of giant red flags, then covered with red flag sauce.
  3. An all-you-can-eat buffet. Sure, the deep fried goodies might be good, and the prices might be low, but buffets are about as trashy as you can get in terms of atmosphere. Even if the good is good, class it up a little, will ya?
  4. Anything involving an MLM scheme. If you want to get a girl to hate you for the rest of her life, take her to an Amway presentation for a date. It’s sad that this even happens, but apparently, at least one guy is using Tinder to market MLM products to women. If you do this, expect it to get out into public knowledge. Also, you may want to expect torches and pitchforks being wielded by pissed off women.
  5. A fast food joint. Trust me, that Happy Meal won’t leave any date feeling remotely happy. Actually, if they even bother to show up to a McDonald’s for a date, you should consider yourself lucky. It’s the only dining venue that’s worse than a buffet.
  6. A frat party. In 1983, maybe this was acceptable. Nowadays, even fratboys don’t consider bringing girls to a party of theirs as a first date option. Who really wants to get romantic while listening to Blink 182 and guzzling Natty Ice, anyway?
  7. A house party. Aside from the fact that your date might not know anyone there and may feel intimidated, having a first date at a house party filled with your friends has a lot of other potential landmines that can cause the entire night to go downhill. Since it’s a first date, you don’t know how this person will react to your friends, and if they cause a scene, it can be a nightmare date. Parties with friends can also put undue pressure on them to act as if they’re your longtime girl, which is as awkward as it gets.
  8. Dinner with the family. Though this can seem sweet and old-fashioned at first glance, let’s be honest, here. First dates are tough enough without having to deal with worrying about impressing a guy’s parents, too. Besides, this tends to be a sign that a guy may be a bit too attached to his parents and/or what his parents think.
  9. A zoo. Even if she likes animals, the overwhelming smell of animal feces is one hell of a mood killer.
  10. A messy eatin’ restaurant. So many delicious foods out there involve getting your face and hands filthy, and looking unsexy while chowing down. It’s just not fair! Sadly, if you’re going to go on a first date, a BBQ joint or crab shack won’t be the best option. It’s just too hard to look sexy while ripping the meat off a chicken bone with your teeth.
  11. A guys’ night out. This is a good date if you want to make sure she feels like you aren’t really interested in impressing her at all.
  12. A high school reunion. If you choose to take a girl to a reunion as a first date, it will almost always come off as you being desperate for acknowledgement from your former peers. It’s basically the dating version of waving a banner, shouting, “LOOK AT ME! I GOT LAID AFTER HIGH SCHOOL, TOO!”
  13. A funeral. This shouldn’t even be a consideration. Seriously, do not do this.
  14. A strip club. Granted, some very rare women might be interested in going to a strip club with their man, but this is something that only happens later on in a relationship. Doing this on a first date will send her a message that she’s not going to be the only one you’re into – ever. It’s disrespectful, and it’s also selfish on a guy’s end. So, don’t do it.
  15. Your house/apartment. Once again, this is a first date. You do not know this girl, and you do not know if she’s the type who will end up stalking you. You don’t know anything about her. Inviting strange people into your home is never a good idea, especially if you haven’t spoken to them in person yet. Even if you do know her for a long time, a first date at her house just seems like you’re just being cheap and lazy about it. Come on, guys! You can do better!
Ossiana Tepfenhart works as an editor to FunNewJersey's magazine, and has been working with a massive series of lifestyle sites including Woman Around Town and Guff.com