Maybe you don’t realize that the things you’re doing in dating are actually giving off five-stage clinger vibes. After all, it’s normal to want to spend a ton of time with the guy you’re dating, especially when things are new and you’re just getting to know him. However, if you’re guilty of any of these 16 behaviors, you need to take a step back.
You add his friends on social media.
There’s nothing wrong with connecting with your new boyfriend’s friends, but it’s clingy when you’ve just met them and are love-bombing them on all social media networks. It looks like you’re way too desperate to win their approval so you can worm your way into his life.
You say you’d love to meet his folks.
When he talks about his parents, you’re quick to say that you’d love to meet them someday. Um, he hasn’t even hinted at that? Just because you get the feeling that you’ll have a lot in common with his fashionable mom or dad who works in advertising, it doesn’t mean that your boyfriend’s ready to introduce you.
You like what he likes (even if you really don’t).
It’s not your fault that you share the same love of dogs or the ocean, but it can look clingy if you’re making it seem like you’re using these similarities to get him to like you. For instance, he mentions how much he loves Mustangs and you change your Facebook profile to a Mustang the very same day. Creepy!
You give your friends the full story.
Some parts of your relationship are meant to be private. If you’re telling your friends about your fights, your partner’s secrets or difficult childhood, or how long his penis is, you’re crossing a line! You’re also giving the impression that he somehow belongs to you so you can share details about his personal life.
You check his social media accounts daily.
You feel weird if you’re not up to date on the latest happenings in his life, so you check all his social media accounts at least once a day, if not more, and “like” the majority of his Facebook posts. Whoa, there. Space in a relationship is good and prevents you from being clingy.
You get moody when he compliments other women.
You’re out with your boyfriend when he bumps into a friend and compliments her about her pretty hair or ambition when she mentions she just got a work promotion. You feel jealous—why isn’t he complimenting you on those things? Remember—just because he’s dating you doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about other people. It’s unfair to expect him to only give you attention.
You’re always at his side.
When out in a group, you’ll try to be close to him, so you’ll take the seat next to him in restaurants and at the movies and you’ll make sure that you get into the passenger’s seat in his car on the way home. If he always sees you in his peripheral vision, it’s a problem. It’s like you’re jumping his space all the time.
You clear out your schedule before he asks you out.
You get the feeling the guy you’ve been seeing is going to want to hook up this weekend, so you clear out your schedule even before he asks you. What happens if he doesn’t? You’ll be sitting around alone when you could’ve been enjoying your life instead of waiting around for a guy.
Other women are competition.
When you meet his female friends or acquaintances, your immediate thought is that they’re your competition. You study them, looking for what makes you better than them and also look out for any signs that they could be trouble in your relationship. Honestly, this just makes you seem insecure. Even if you’re not sharing your thoughts, people can sense your negative energy.
You put yourself down so he can raise you up.
You might tell him that you hate how your hair looks today or that you dislike the dress you’re wearing, just so that he can say, “No, your hair is beautiful!” or, “That dress looks so sexy on you!” You crave his attention and compliments, but don’t make his opinions matter more than yours. You’re not desperate to be liked, so don’t act like it.
You take to social media when ignored.
When the guy you’re dating hasn’t replied to your texts but you’ve seen he’s been active on social media, you have no shame in posting on his Facebook wall, asking him why he hasn’t answered your texts. This seems like you’re waiting around for him and even if you’re making it seem light-hearted, it can still feel clingy AF to him. Give the guy some breathing space, FTLOG.
You tell him how you feel.
Telling the guy that you have feelings for him isn’t clingy, but it’s how you do it that matters. If you’re writing him long love letters and sharing them on Facebook, or jumping in and kissing him even though you don’t know if he likes you back, you could be getting ahead of yourself and coming across as desperate.
You’re a milestone pusher.
You’ll be the first to ask him out, say “I love you” and suggest a holiday away together. Slow down! It’s like you’re making this relationship your one and only priority and not giving him a chance to take the lead sometimes.
Your relationship determines your mood.
When your boyfriend makes you angry or sad, you end up feeling crap the whole day—and this determines how you feel about everything else in your life. Don’t give your boyfriend so much power over you!
You keep him on the line.
You’ve chatted to the guy for an hour when he says that he needs to go to bed. Instead of ending the conversation, you continue chatting! This is inconsiderate and clingy because it’s like you want to dominate his attention all night long.
You invite yourself to events.
He mentioned that he’s going to a wine-tasting event or to see the latest horror movie, and you jumped in saying how much you’d love to go! This feels weird because who says he was even going to ask you out? He could have been invited to those events by a friend and unable to invite someone else. Or, he could have wanted to invite you out but you jumped in and invited yourself, which made it awkward. Stop doing that. It’s annoying.
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