Your brothers and sisters are your family, and that bond is (supposed to be) unbreakable. However, it doesn’t guarantee it’s healthy. Your relationship with your sibling may be less than healthy through no fault of your own — it’s all down to them. If you relate to any of the following, you have a toxic sibling and might be better cutting them off.
1. They never bother to check in on you.
Although you make an effort to reach out to your sibling to see how they’re doing, they never repay the favor. They don’t even answer your questions and instead leave your messages on read for days or even weeks. If they cared about you, they’d check in more often, wouldn’t they?
2. They’re only interested in you when they need something.
Your sibling will contact you when they want to ask for a favor, like sending them more money so they can cover their rent or doing something for your parents because they’re “too busy” to pull their weight. It makes you feel like you’re only important to them when they need something, and they’re not ashamed to drain you of your resources.
3. They’re never happy to see you.
When spending time with your sibling, they might pretend like they’re happy to be around you, but you notice that their body language is sometimes a bit weird. They might give you up-and-down looks like they’re judging you, or they might cross their arms and roll their eyes whenever you start talking because they hate hearing your stories. It makes you feel bad because you don’t know what you did to deserve this kind of treatment.
4. They’re Only Connected To You Because Of Your Parents.
Sometimes, it feels like the only thing that really connects you to your sibling is that you share the same parents or you grew up in the same family environment. You might feel like you don’t really know each other or have much else in common, and it doesn’t help that they don’t seem to care about getting to know you as a friend.
5. They Downplay Your Success.
When you achieve your goals or succeed at something you’ve been working on for a while, you share the news with your sibling expecting a pat on the back but instead, you get nothing in return. They’re totally uninterested or insist that what you’ve accomplished is really no big deal. They’re downplaying your success probably because they’re insecure — and definitely because they’re toxic.
6. They Always Think They’re Right.
It’s challenging to deal with a sibling who always thinks their opinions and behaviors are right and everyone else’s is wrong, including yours. When you argue, you’re always the one who has to apologize first because they just don’t think they’ve done anything to be sorry about.
7. They Can’t Stop Competing With You.
Your sibling always turns everything into a competition. From the job they have to the car they drive to the partner they marry, they always want to outdo you. If they weren’t so toxic, they’d be happy that you’re building an amazing life and realize that there’s enough good to go around.
8. You Can Only Handle Them In Small Doses.
You might have fun when spending time with your sibling, but you always feel mentally and emotionally drained after seeing them. This means you have to limit the time you spend with them just to protect yourself from their harmful vibes. They’re total energy vampires and seem to get off on making you upset and bringing you down.
9. They Gang Up On You.
When you spend time with your sibling and your mutual friends, your sibling tries to pit everyone against you. They might find ways to “jokingly” criticize you even though it’s hurtful or tell your friends things that are untrue to make them think less of you. They even pull this with your other family members, that’s how toxic they are.
10. You Feel Anxious Around Them.
During family get-togethers and holidays, you always feel anxious around your sibling. Maybe you know that they’re going to put you down, be rude to you, or try to outshine you, and it’s your body’s way of warning you that they’re bad for you. You can never really feel relaxed because you know that drama will ensue at some point.
11. You Get Blamed For The Past.
Most families have problems, but you have to let them go if you want any chance of finding peace and having a good relationship. Your sibling doesn’t seem capable of doing that. They remember the past and reframe it so you’re always the one to blame for arguments and issues that are years old at this point. It’s exhausting, to say the least.
12. They Ruin Your Relationships.
If your sibling’s toxic, they might be intent on screwing up every element of your life out of a sense of vengeance or pure pettiness. Maybe they gossip about you to ruin your new relationships, or they find ways to guilt-trip you so you prioritize their needs over everyone else’s, leaving you neglecting the other people in your life as you put them first.
13. They Only Ever Talk About Themselves.
Your toxic sibling loves talking about themselves, but it leaves little room for you to have your say. They’d rather bore you with details of their everyday and then make an excuse for why they have to end the call so you never get heard. Whether because they have an inflated sense of self-importance or they want to send the message that they’re not interested in your life, you can never get a word in edgewise.
14. They Tell You What You Want To Hear.
©iStock/Wundervisuals
There’s nothing like having a sibling to go to for advice on something, especially if they’re a bit older and they’ve been there before. However, it’s toxic if they only ever tell you what they think you want to hear. It’s not that they’re trying to spare your feelings — they’re just not invested enough in your relationship to have an open, honest dialogue with you.
15. They Don’t Bring Anything Good To Your Life.
Think about what your sibling brings into your life. If they’re addicted to drama and negativity, you’re dealing with someone who’s negative and this is going to be harmful to you if you don’t cut them out, or at least restrict how much space you allow them in your life. If you can’t think of one positive aspect of your relationship, that’s a red flag.
16. They Spill Your Secrets.
Maybe there was a time when you and your sibling were really tight and you shared secrets with them. Then they betrayed you by telling anyone who’d listen your personal business. They crossed a serious line but they didn’t care about it (or you) at all. It’s clear your sibling doesn’t respect you, so there’s no foundation for a healthy relationship between you.
17. They Ignore You.
Instead of criticizing you, your toxic sibling might actively ignore you. They talk to other family members and leave you out of group chats, or they avoid any issues that come up so they don’t have to deal with you. If you try to talk to them, they’ll always have an excuse for why it’s not the right time. What’s their problem?
Enjoy what you’ve read? Give us a like and follow Bolde on MSN for more!
