18 Reasons Not To Send Nudes, No Matter How Much He Asks

Sending naked selfies might be a thing right now, but it’s not necessarily something most of us are comfortable with. And besides, just because he asks doesn’t mean you need to oblige. If he asked if he could start sleeping with other women, would you be okay with that too? Doubtful. Here are 18 reasons you should keep your private parts private and not send nudes no matter how much you like the guy.

  1. You care about your future. If you dream of becoming the next Kamala Harris or the CEO of a major company, you’re better off avoiding nudes altogether. While there’s nothing shameful about the female body and society really should chill out when judging or policing women’s sexuality, the sad truth is that things like leaked nudes and revenge porn do have the very real potential to destroy a woman’s life. Don’t put yourself in that position.
  2. It’s about respect. Because you have it for yourself and he’d better have it for you too. If he does, he won’t ask. If he doesn’t, he doesn’t deserve them. That being said, there are circumstances when you’re feeling hot and you might want to send him some sexy pictures. If it’s your own idea and your own choice, there’s nothing wrong with that. However, if you’re compromised in any way (which is often the case), there are plenty of reasons not to send nudes.
  3. Chances are, you will break up. Sorry to be Debbie Downer here, but almost half of all marriages end in divorce and you aren’t even married yet. Do you really want your ex having carte blanche over your nudes? What happens when the relationship ends and he’s feeling salty? You’d like to think that you could trust him even if he wasn’t your boyfriend anymore, but can you really? You’re better off not taking the chance.
  4. You’re worth the wait. Anticipation is sexy. If he really wants you, he can wait to see the real thing in person. If he can’t, then he isn’t worth your time anyway. Make plans to have a hot, face-to-face evening together. Then he won’t need pictures because he can commit the whole thing to memory.
  5. One is never enough. So you caved and sent him what he’d been begging for for weeks. Sorry, but it’s not gonna stop there. Now he’s going to want to see you from every angle imaginable, in different lighting, with different filters. Enjoy the neverending disaster you just created. You’ll be working on a spreadsheet at work and you’ll get a text from him begging you to go take an upskirt in the bathroom stall or something. Ugh.
  6. Hiding your face doesn’t make you anonymous. Hate to break it to you, girls, but just because you strategically hide your face doesn’t mean no one will be able to recognize it’s you. Nice try. There are many different ways to identify a person in a picture other than their face. There’s no truly anonymous photo, even if you think you’ve taken every precaution imaginable. People will find a way to identify you and when they do, you won’t be happy about it.
  7. You don’t want to. You’re only doing it for him, and that’s the wrong reason to do anything. If you have to think twice about something, you probably shouldn’t be doing it. It doesn’t matter how hot he tells you he finds you or how much he tries to manipulate you into thinking that if you were really into him, you’d do it. One of the best reasons not to send nudes (or THE best reason) is simply because you don’t want to. End of.
  8. You probably aren’t the only one he’s asking for them. It’s like the late-night booty call when he texts five girls hoping at least one will respond. Don’t be that girl. Unless you’re in an exclusive relationship with a guy (and even sometimes then), the chances that he’s asking for and/or receiving similar photos from other women is kinda high. You’re better than being one of many.
  9. They can’t be unseen. Just like a tattoo, you can try to cover it up, but it never really goes away. Once you press send on those photos, they’re out of your hands and out there into the world. You can’t take them back even if you really want to. It sucks but it’s true.
  10. He’ll probably show his friends. Because obviously, you look too good for him not to brag to his friends about. While he would claim that the motivation for doing this was a good one (if he admitted to it at all, that is), you’ll never be able to look at them straight in the eyes knowing that they’ve seen every inch of you in photographic form. How gross is that?
  11. He loses his phone all the time.  The cab driver from last night didn’t just find his phone, he found something else, as well. His mom just so happened to pick up his phone when he left it on the couch last night and she got an eyeful. Do you really want to take the chance of these photos falling into the wrong hands, even if accidentally?
  12. If you don’t get an immediate response, you’ll freak out. You start assuming crazy things, like that you need a labiaplasty,  instead of realizing that after all the time you spent trying to get the perfect shot, he fell asleep. There’s no worse anxiety than radio silence after sending him a picture of your naked body.
  13. It’s impossible to Photoshop on an iPhone. And why send out anything less than perfection? I kid, but seriously. You’re putting yourself out there for undue criticism and analysis. While he’ll claim he loves everything about you and finds you ridiculously hot (and I’m sure he’s not lying), you’ll be stressing about all the things you’re insecure about and it’ll eat you up.
  14. Even Snapchat can’t be trusted. Nothing is safe. You thought you could use Snapchat safely, but guess what – there’s an app you can use to save them now. People can still screenshot or even save them without your permission and without you knowing. It’s really not temporary.
  15. The Internet is a dangerous place. You could be going viral right now and not even know it. You think all those girls posted pictures of themselves? Okay, maybe some… But again, revenge porn is a life ruiner, and that alone is one of the best reasons not to send nudes.
  16. You could accidentally send it to the wrong person. Like a friend with the same name, your grandma, or God forbid, your boss. Sure, you’ll probably be more careful in selecting the recipient than you’ve ever been about everything in your entire life, but still…
  17. People look through your phone. Because your douchebag friends can never just look at the one picture you’re trying to show them. STOP SCROLLING! And let’s not even discuss the sales clerk at the cell phone store who just transferred your 1000 + “selfies” to your new device.
  18. You’re exploiting yourself. End of story. If that’s something you enjoy and feel empowered by, by all means, go for it and enjoy it. If you aren’t, listen to your instinct. You’re worth more than your naked body.
Rachael is an award winning stand-up comedienne, freelance writer, and BravoTV superfan. Her Real Housewives tagline is “The only thing bigger than my boobs are my personalities.” In her spare time, she keeps busy catering to the needs of a very spoiled Siberian Husky, (Paris Hilton), cleaning the skeletons out of her closet (to make room for more shoes), and swiping left to everyone on Tinder. Follow her on twitter @therealplandd.