There are a thousand reasons to love being single — and we’ve covered a lot of them — but sometimes, you’re just over it. We empathize. Here are some of the things that drive us nuts:
- Couples holding hands everywhere. How many of them you’ll see on any given day rises in relation to how lonely you happen to be feeling.
- Couples slobbering all over each other on Facebook. No shame.
- Going weeks/months without sex. Your annual breast exam suddenly feels intimate.
- Things that go bump in the night. Was that the dry cycle on the dishwasher kicking in or a serial killer?
- The flu. Going to the drugstore when you have a fever is BS.
- No one to tell you how hot you look. Except construction workers and your girlfriends.
- Online dating. It’s like a part-time job. Who has the time??
- Online dating fees. They add up. A nice new handbag would be a much more satisfying purchase. And then at least you’d have something to show for the $ you spent.
- Blind dates. Oh, the anticipation… and then you meet him. Is it rude to leave before he notices you?
- Weddings. The slow dance. The bouquet toss. Being seated at the
losers’singles’ table. - Zipping up your dress by yourself.Ouch. Shoulder cramp.
- Taking off your boots by yourself. Ouch. Back pain.
- Fixing stuff. A girl shouldn’t have to unclog her own toilet.
- Spiders. A girl shouldn’t have to kill things either.
- Valentine’s Day. Barf.
- Bills, rent, etc. At a minimum, you should have someone to go halfsies with you.
- Cooking for one. Making chicken parmesan would be fun but ordering pizza – the practical choice – always ends up winning.
- Masturbating.Boooooring. So mechanical at this point.
- Watching something scary/sad/funny. Screaming, crying or laughing out loud when you’re alone just feels pathetic.
