You might have dated a coworker in the past, but you’re also likely aware just how messy it can be mixing business with pleasure, especially when there’s a power imbalance involved. That’s why it can be so jarring when you notice the signs your boss likes you romantically. Not only can it put you in a very awkward position, it can make your work life extremely uncomfortable.
If your boss, manager, or supervisor is doing more than one of the things below, chances are their interest in you is about more than just the job.
Signs your boss likes you romantically
1. They make prolonged eye contact.
When you’re chatting with your boss and they lock eyes with you a bit longer than feels typical, take note. Prolonged eye contact can indicate a deeper interest or connection, and if it happens often, it might be a sign they’re seeing you in more than just a professional light.
2. They ask you overly personal questions.
It’s one thing for a boss to ask how your weekend was, but if they’re diving into deeper personal topics like your relationship status, family life, or dreams, it’s a potential red flag. A boss should maintain professional boundaries, and getting too personal might mean they’re interested in more than just your work.
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4. They compliment you all the time.
Everyone appreciates a pat on the back for a job well done. However, if your boss is constantly singing your praises, especially about non-work-related things like your appearance or your personal life, it might be a hint they’re feeling something more.
5. They show you favoritism.
If you’re suddenly getting the best assignments, invited to special meetings, or given perks that your colleagues aren’t, it could be more than just appreciation for your hard work. Favoritism can be an indicator that your boss has a special interest in you and might be blurring the lines between professional and personal.
6. They dedicate a lot of one-on-one time to you.
Every employee should have face time with their boss, but if you’re always the one called into their office for long chats, coffee breaks, or after-hours discussions, it’s worth questioning. If they’re consistently seeking your company, it might be for reasons other than work.
7. They always find excuses to touch you.
Physical boundaries are crucial in a professional setting. If your boss is often finding reasons to pat your back, touch your arm, or brush against you, it’s not just awkward – it’s inappropriate. Regular unnecessary physical contact could be an indicator that they’re interested in more than just a working relationship.
8. They check in with you daily, even for non-work-related reasons.
It’s normal for a boss to check in regarding tasks and assignments, but if they’re messaging you to chat about your evening plans or how your date went, that’s crossing a line. Regular non-work-related check-ins might mean they’re trying to establish a personal connection.
9. They’re always jumping to your defense even when it’s unnecessary.
It feels good to be supported, but if your boss is always taking your side or rushing to defend you, even when the situation doesn’t call for it, they may be showing bias. This overprotectiveness could stem from romantic feelings.
10. They get jealous when you’re friendly with other colleagues.
Workplaces thrive on teamwork and collaboration. If your boss is acting possessive or seems to get irked when you’re chatting with or getting close to other colleagues, it’s a concern. Jealousy isn’t just unprofessional; it could indicate they’re viewing you through a romantic lens.
11. You get special treatment that other employees don’t.
If you’re receiving privileges or advantages that your colleagues aren’t privy to, that’s a huge red flag. Whether it’s a prime parking spot, additional time off, or other benefits, consistently receiving preferential treatment might indicate they have a special interest in you beyond your job performance.
12. They send you texts that aren’t work-related.
Communication is key in any professional setting, but if your boss is regularly texting you about non-work topics, especially during off-hours, it might be cause for concern. A boss reaching out about your personal life, weekend plans, or shared interests might be hinting at more than just a friendly rapport.
13. They give you gifts for no reason.
Occasional gifts, like a thank-you card for a project well done, are one thing. But if your boss is frequently giving you gifts ‘just because’ or for personal occasions you haven’t shared with others, it might mean they’re trying to woo you.
14. They always invite you to hang out outside of work.
It’s not uncommon for coworkers to socialize outside of work. However, if your boss is consistently singling you out for dinners, movies, or other non-work activities, especially if it’s just the two of you, it’s a sign they might be blurring professional lines.
15. They’re always available for you no matter how busy they are.
A boss should be approachable, but if they’re dropping everything to be at your beck and call, it’s unusual. If they’re always prioritizing your needs over other pressing matters or employees, it might be because they’re interested in more than just your work-related concerns.
16. They confide in you about personal things.
Sharing personal struggles, dreams, or details about their life outside of work can be a big sign. While everyone needs a listening ear sometimes, a boss divulging such information to you might be trying to establish an intimate bond that goes beyond the workplace.
17. Their body language feels intimate or flirty.
Body language can reveal a lot. If your boss is often leaning in close, mirroring your movements, or giving you flirty smiles, it suggests they might be feeling more than just professional camaraderie. Paying attention to these subtle cues can give you insights into their intentions.
18. They constantly praise your work performance even when it’s not the best.
Constructive criticism helps us grow, and while encouragement is essential, it should be genuine. If your boss is always on the praise train, even when your work isn’t up to par, it could be a sign they’re viewing you through rose-colored glasses.
19. They compare you to their current or past partners.
This one’s a major red flag. If your boss frequently mentions how you remind them of someone they dated or shares stories about past relationships and draws parallels with you, it’s a clear sign they’re thinking about you in a romantic light.
20. They’re always talking about you to other colleagues.
If you’re consistently the topic of conversation when you’re not around, and colleagues mention how often your boss brings you up in discussions, it’s something to be wary of. This can indicate a level of fixation or interest that goes beyond a professional context.
21. They get defensive if someone else criticizes you.
It’s one thing to back up an employee when criticism is unfair, but if your boss is quick to defend you every single time, even when the critique might be valid, that’s a red flag. Their overly defensive attitude may signal that they have a personal interest in you and are not just protecting your professional reputation.
22. They’re always blurring the lines between personal and professional.
Professional boundaries exist for a reason. If your boss often steers work conversations into personal territory or shares details that should be kept private, it’s a concern. This constant meshing of personal and professional can indicate they’re trying to foster a closer, perhaps romantic, relationship.
23. They initiate long conversations pretty much daily.
Short check-ins about work are normal, but if your boss is always pulling you aside for long, drawn-out conversations that often veer off-topic, take note. This could be their way of building intimacy and spending more time with you.
24. They love letting you in on the details of their personal life.
Everyone shares a bit about their life outside of work, but if your boss is frequently spilling details about their romantic escapades, family issues, or deep personal dreams, it’s unusual. This oversharing might be a strategy to draw you closer and create a bond that’s more than professional.
25. They’ve taken a sudden interest in pretty much everything about you.
If your boss is now suddenly curious about your favorite books, hobbies, or vacation spots, it’s worth raising an eyebrow. A newfound fascination with all aspects of your life can suggest they’re trying to find common ground or simply get to know you on a deeper, personal level.
26. They’re always dropping by your desk just to say hi.
Occasional friendly check-ins are one thing, but if your boss is constantly making rounds to your desk just to say hello or chat, it might be more than friendly behavior. Regular, unsolicited visits can be their way of seeking more opportunities to interact with you.
27. You’re picking up on some pretty uncomfortable vibes.
Trust your gut. If something feels off or you’re getting vibes that your boss’s interest in you is more than professional, you’re probably not imagining it. It’s essential to recognize and trust these feelings, as they often can be an early indicator of inappropriate behavior.
28. They want to know your opinions on pretty much everything.
Valuing an employee’s input is good management, but if your boss is constantly seeking your opinion on topics outside your scope or unrelated to work, it can be a sign. This excessive interest in your thoughts might be a way for them to establish a deeper connection or simply to engage with you more.
29. You catch them staring at you often.
It’s a bit unsettling when someone’s gaze lingers a little too long. If you find your boss frequently staring at you from across the room or during meetings, it’s worth noting. Those prolonged looks can indicate a heightened interest in you, beyond just your work contributions.
30. They’re always calling impromptu meetings with you.
Scheduled meetings are a part of professional life, but if you find your calendar constantly being filled with unscheduled, one-on-one sessions with your boss, it’s peculiar. Especially if these meetings often drift from work topics, it might be their way of ensuring more private time with you.
What to do if your boss likes you romantically and you’re uncomfortable
1. Trust your instincts.
If something feels off, it probably is. Your intuition is a powerful tool, and if you’re sensing that your boss’s interest in you is more than professional, don’t brush those feelings aside. Acknowledging your feelings is the first step in addressing the situation.
2. Set clear boundaries.
Just as you would in any other relationship, set clear and firm boundaries. If your boss is venturing into personal territory or behaving inappropriately, be direct in letting them know what’s acceptable and what’s not. Remember, it’s okay to say “no” or redirect conversations back to professional topics.
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4. Document everything.
Keep a detailed record of any encounters or conversations that make you uncomfortable. Note dates, times, locations, and what was said or done. This documentation can be vital if you ever need to report the behavior or if the situation escalates.
5. Talk to them.
It might be nerve-wracking, but having a candid conversation can sometimes clear the air. Let them know how their actions make you feel and ask for clarification on their intentions. This can help both parties understand and address any misconceptions or crossed lines.
6. HR is your friend.
Your company’s Human Resources department is there to help with situations like this. If you’re uncomfortable or unsure about how to handle your boss’s behavior, schedule a meeting with HR. They can provide guidance, support, and potential solutions.
7. Consider looking for another job.
If all else fails and you still feel uncomfortable or unsafe in your current position, it might be time to explore other opportunities. Your well-being and peace of mind are essential, and sometimes a fresh start in a new environment is the best option.
