I’m In My 30s & I Absolutely Will Not Date Younger Guys

They say that age is nothing but a number, but as a woman in her thirties who’s dated both younger and older guys, I can say with certainty that it’s a load of nonsense. I used to be fine with dating guys who were in their twenties, but now, this is why I’m sticking to men who are closer to my own age:

  1. They’re all about the party. Dating a guy who’s in his twenties might feel like fun at first — he’ll be adventurous and inspire my inner spontaneity. But after a while, that crap gets old. I want to chill out at home on the weekend and have real conversations. For younger guys, that’s often boring, but guys my own age are often all about keeping things low-key.
  2. They’re still finding their feetOf course there are exceptions, but a guy in his twenties is normally still trying to find his place in the world. I want someone who’s more established with a steady career and well-defined goals, because that’s where I’m at. It makes it easier when we have more in common.
  3. They’re not going to want to settle down. A guy in his mid-to-late twenties is probably not going to want to get married and have kids. I want a guy who is keen to have a real, stable, and long-term relationship with me. I don’t want to waste my thirties holding out for a guy who probably won’t want to settle down for at least another decade.
  4. They’re not thinking about tomorrow. Younger guys will be more likely to want to focus on the moment and live it up rather than think about the future. At this stage in my life, I want to be with someone who sees the bigger picture and has a plan of where he’s headed. Otherwise, it just feels like I’m facing a dead-end.
  5. They’re insecure. With age comes confidence. Guys in their twenties are sometimes not as secure in themselves as older men, especially when it comes to dating. I don’t want to have to deal with lots of insecurity issues in my partner or feel like I need to be coaching them along. Who has the time?
  6. Their drama sometimes feel stupid. I know it’s wrong, but I can’t help it. Listening to younger guys complain about how they’re no longer best buds with someone anymore because of a squabble they had when they were drunk is just so ridiculous to me anymore. I just can’t listen to this stuff. I’m sure some of my issues seem absurd to younger guys as well, but that’s just further proof of how incompatible we are.
  7. They don’t know how to treat a woman properly. I’m not saying guys in their twenties are only after sex or treat women badly, but they often lack the knowledge to give an older woman what she needs. They probably treat women their age just fine, but I want someone who knows how to treat someone my age with respect and emotional maturity.
  8. It feels wrong to expect commitment from them. Even if younger guys claim to have lots of dating experience, a lot of them haven’t spent a lot of time in long-term relationships. They’re at a time of their lives in which it’s healthy for them to date lots of people, and honestly, they should embrace that.
  9. They might be dating older women for the street cred. Dating “cougars” has become trendy in some male social circles, so they might do it just to give them a bit of a status boost around their friends. But I don’t want to feel like I’m just some guy’s golden ticket to popularity.
  10. They look up to me. When the guy gets kicked out of his apartment and needs a place to crash, I’m going to be the one he calls. When he can’t figure out how to use his washing machine, I’m going to be the one he asks for assistance. He’s trying to work his way through the world and grow up, but being by his side will make me feel like I’m his mother instead of his girlfriend. Ew.
  11. They see the world differentlyA twenty-something guy is getting out there and probably filled with hope about the world. He might even be a bit naive. I know that he’ll change and learn with experience, but for now, we’re going to clash in how we see things because our views are so different. I need someone who can instantly understand where I’m coming from.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.