We all need to kiss a few frogs before we find our prince – or something. Although I don’t believe in the concept of finding Prince Charming, I do believe that we can learn a lot from dating the wrong people. Here are 12 types of guys we need to date at least once and then dump. Plus, we also share some guys that are totally worth it.
- The Bad Boy He’s brooding. Unpredictable. Ridiculously sexy. What’s not to like? Bad boys can show us things and take us on adventures that other guys might not. It’s exciting and it’s thrilling in the moment, sure. But when it comes to emotional stability and commitment, these guys fall short. Eventually, you get tired of being in a relationship that feels like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster. So, you move on to greener pastures. Dating a bad boy brings into focus what you really want. That’s to be treated well by someone who’s actually a good guy.
- The Good on Paper Guy This guy is the antithesis of the Bad Boy. He’s attentive, responsible, has a great job and looks great on paper. He’s the kind of guy your friends have been praying you’d eventually date. The problem? There just isn’t a spark. Although you hate to admit it, this guy bores you to tears. It’s not that you want to be treated badly. However, dating him makes you long for the days of hooking up with losers. This guy teaches you that what you’re really looking for is something in the middle. Someone who is kind and stable but also gives you butterflies. Passion with a side of normalcy. Yes, that.
- The Sexual Experimentation Guy Of all the types of guys on this list, this is one of the most important. You have almost nothing in common, but that doesn’t matter. You spend entire days and nights in bed. You do things and feel things with him that you’ve never done or felt with anyone else. Sure, he may not be “The One” (even though you may have tried to convince yourself otherwise. But, when all is said and done, you’ll still look back on this era of your life fondly. Everyone needs to date someone that they can explore their sexuality with. That’s true even if only so you know what you like for when you do meet the right person.
- The Repeat Offender Maybe you dated and then broke up then decided to start sleeping together again. Or, maybe you’ve always been in that weird “we’re together but not together” grey zone. Either way, this type of guy is the dude you come back to again and again. You’ve recycled this relationship so many times that even Al Gore would be proud. However, this union is clearly going nowhere. Dating this guy teaches you something important. Just because you can go back to someone, doesn’t mean you should.
- The Rebound Guy He’s the complete opposite of your ex and that’s why you date him. If your ex was a preppy, golf shirt wearing, Ivy League WASP, he’s the opposite. This dude is the guy with a green mohawk who plays in a punk band in between working shifts at your local indie coffee shop. Still reeling from your breakup, you quickly get swept off your feet… only to come crashing down a few weeks (or months) later. Eventually, you realize that this relationship will never work. Everyone needs to experience a rebound relationship in order to recognize these situations for what they are in the future.
- The Gateway Guy The Gateway Guy will likely break your heart. He’s kind, thoughtful, smart, funny and just the right amount of sexy. In other words, he’s basically everything you’ve been looking for. However, for whatever reason, it just won’t work out between you. This will make you sad for a while. But, it’ll also help put into perspective what you really do want from a relationship. You also realize that Gateway Guy’s dreams of living in the ‘burbs with a white picket fence and a bunch of rugrats doesn’t jive with your life vision of Brooklyn lofts, bottomless brunches and world travel. That’s true despite how wonderful you think he is. At the end of the day, Gateway Guy isn’t the guy. However, he’s the gateway to better types of guys. For that, you’ll always be grateful.
- The Failed Comedian There’s a reason this guy isn’t famous yet and probably never will be. While he thinks that he’s the next Andy Samberg, the reality is that he’s more of an Adam Sandler. (Sandler his latest movies, not Billy Madison era.) At first, you think he’s amusing enough to entertain you for the next couple of cocktails. Unfortunately, after one drink and numerous failed punchlines, you’re ready to pay for his next couple of improv classes if it means he’ll stop doing stand-up for you. However, at least you learn about what’s funny and what’s really not.
- The (Former) Frat Star This guy can’t stop talking about his glory days. By the end of the night, you feel like you could identify everyone in his crew by their nicknames. Even though graduation day was years ago, he’s still not over it. Of all the types of guys out there, he’s one of the saddest. It’s one thing to reminisce about college memories. It’s another to talk about the fraternity party he recently attended or what it’s like to return to campus to haze the pledges. This frat bro still takes his college days seriously, even if he can’t exactly remember all of them.
- The Douche This guy is only interested in getting it in. This is made obvious when he doesn’t ask you anything about yourself, other than where you live. After only hanging out for a couple of hours, you made a great escape. Sadly, it didn’t stop him from consistently texting you “Your place or mine?” every single Saturday after midnight. You eventually had to block his number because no matter how thirsty you get, you’ll never give in. While “The Douche” is a funny character on Parks & Recreation, in real life you feel sleazy just hanging out with him. Even though you shower the second you get home, you’re still left wondering if all guys are this slimy. Nothing makes it clearer that you should never lower your standards.
- The Southern Gent He’s good looking and he’s not horrible to be around. You imagine that his southern drawl will be romantic like Gone with the Wind. You know, minus the whole minor incest scenario. Unfortunately, you find it more grating than gratifying. He brought his koozie on your date, which is at a casual happy hour because it proves the beer buckets he craves. If you’re seeing him in the summer, he’s wearing seersucker and a shirt with some type of fish on it. (In fact, if you found him on Tinder, he 100% had photos of him fishing, tailgating, and hunting, probably all at once.) If your date goes down in the fall, he’s busy setting his line up secretly on his phone the entire time, assuming you won’t notice. Neither option is enjoyable, but at least you pick up some southern slang.
- The Forever Student You thought you would be fine with someone still in school. It’s not like you graduated 100 years ago. The truth is that you’re on completely different pages. You’re tired from your 9-to-5. Meanwhile, he’s ready to stay out all night drinking and talking about his classes. While you loved college, there comes a time when everyone needs to graduate.
- The Argumentative A Hole No matter what you say, he disagrees with it. Whether he’s morally against what you do or just hates every band you’ve ever loved, nothing you say will win. By the end of the night, you feel like you’ve been a couple for years — not because you’re madly in love, but because you’re bickering like an old married couple.
Guys you’re better off avoiding altogether
No amount of life lessons you learn from failed relationships is worth putting up with guys like this.
- The Houdini impersonator If you’re dating a guy, or attempting to, who’s there one week and gone the next, screw that. If he’s that unpredictable and values your place in his life so little, then shut that door and hope it hits him in the ass.
- The BS’er The worst thing a guy can do is play on the emotions of a girl who he knows is into him. If you really like him and he’s saying all the right things but not actually backing them up, you need to move on ASAP.
- The commitment-phobe At the end of the day, if you want a relationship and he isn’t making it official, what’s the point in sticking around? Ultimately you’re never going to change his mind, and even if he miraculously does suddenly want to lock things down, chances are he won’t be seriously invested.
- The gaslighter When a guy can’t take responsibility for his own actions, he’s probably a disaster to date. If he thinks that he’s never the problem, chances are he’s really good at gaslighting in order to deflect the reality of his shortcomings. If all he does is trash his exes, remember that he’ll probably add you to that list one day.
- The excuse maker A guy who really likes you won’t make excuses for every little thing, but one who isn’t worth your time sure will. If he always has a reason why he can’t meet your friends, or can’t see you on weekends, excuse him from your life, and quickly.
- The ‘fly by the seat of your pants’ guy While we can’t expect the guy to do all the work, it’s fairly reasonable that we can expect him to get creative some of the time. If you’re the only one planning fun dates and all he comes up with is Netflix and chill, he’s not in it for the same reasons you are.
- The window shopper Trying to date a guy who’s constantly talking to other girls, or who seems to get bored easily, is truly a nightmare. If he refuses to see what’s right in front of him and how good he has it, preferring to keep his options open just in case, ditch him and wait for the one who will.
- The radio silence guy If a guy isn’t calling or at least texting you, it’s a pretty clear sign that he isn’t thinking about you very often. Let’s face it — picking up the phone doesn’t take a huge amount of effort, and when you really like someone, it’s a pleasure, not a chore. If you’re the one initiating all of the conversations, spend your time talking to someone who actually deserves it.
- The chronic plan canceller If you’re trying to date a serial bailer, don’t even bother. Getting ready for what should be a great night only to find out he’s ditching you is the worst, especially when it happens on the regular. If he’s too inconsiderate to value your time, and too flaky to want to see you, he probably doesn’t care and neither should you.
- The busy bee We all have lives and we’re all busy, but when a guy can never see you because he says he doesn’t have time, definitely don’t make time for him. Liking someone means you make time, no matter how busy you are, and if he isn’t willing to do that, he really isn’t that serious.
Types of guys that are worth it even if they don’t seem like it
- The musician Sure, musicians are a handful. They have groupies hanging all over them. Maybe they’re not a good choice for a long-term relationship, but they’re perfect for when you want to have some fun. Plus, nothing breaks you out of your homebody-style shell like staying out late, dancing around while your guy screams into a microphone every night.
- The artist Most guys are content to just sit around watching Netflix and playing Call of Duty. Sometimes you need a guy with passion for life. That’s the artist. He sees the beauty in everything and isn’t afraid to show it to you.
- The nerd So he tucks his shirt into his jeans and has a boring job? You know what else he has? A big heart and a large capacity for human compassion. Also, he may be a nerd out in the real world, but he could be a hot sex machine in the sack. Give him a chance.
- The one-night stand It’s rare that you see a one night stand in a movie or TV show that doesn’t end in disaster. In real life, they can be incredibly liberating. You get no-strings-attached sex that could be just what you need to stop feeling so stuffy and stifled. Just remember protection (both as condoms and pepper spray, just in case).
- The youner guy While it’s cliche and generally well-accepted for an older guy to be with a younger girl, women still feel a little odd to date a guy more than a few years younger than them. But here’s the deal: Younger guys are so pumped to be dating an older lady that they’ll do anything to impress you. That’s especially the case in the bedroom, which is why cougars are always bragging about the great sex they have. No shame!
- The older guy You’re totally an independent woman, and that’s great, but it doesn’t hurt to be taken care of every now and again. The older guy is there to comfort you when something bad happens and will understand your adulthood struggles way better than the younger guy can. Plus, they usually have their act together. If you complain about how immature the guys you date are, go for an older one.
- The guy who might just be “The One” You meet a guy, but you’re just not sure. He seems nice enough, though. In this case, give him a chance. Not every amazing relationship starts out with fireworks right off the bat. If you pass on this guy, you may just be ignoring a chance with “the one.”