8 Mistakes You’re Making That Will Ruin Your FWB Arrangement

8 Mistakes You’re Making That Will Ruin Your FWB Arrangement ©iStock/franckreporter

The whole point of a hookup buddy is that you get to reap all the sexual benefits without all the frustrations and BS that comes with an actual relationship. It should be a simple transaction, but unfortunately, it doesn’t always turn out that way. Here are 8 mistakes you’re making with your FWB that could end up seriously screwing you over, and not in the way you’d hoped:

  1. You overanalyze everything he says and does. He just texted you three times in a day and he never, ever did that in the past. Is he starting to have feelings for you? Is he thinking maybe he wants to turn this from a casual hook-up into a relationship? What does it all mean?! Girl, stop. No.
  2. You want to be involved with his everyday life. You know for a fact that you should have totally separate social circles, and even if you have common friends, wishing he would introduce you to his buddies is like committing suicide. Your setup is meant for the bedroom alone and shouldn’t be expanding beyond it.
  3. You get a bit too touchy-feely. Being all over each other when you’re having sex is a given, but that’s where it ends. Reaching for his hand during pre-hook-up dinner or hoping for post-sex cuddles is a no-no. That’s for a girlfriend, not a FWB.
  4. You blow off potential dates with other guys. Unless you’ve agreed to being exclusive with your FWB (which almost never happens), you shouldn’t be saying “pass” to any guy you’re interested in or who’s interested in you. Don’t be so consumed with your FWB that you miss out on the possibility of real love (because this ain’t it). If you have the chance to get to know someone new on a deeper level, go for it.
  5. You’re jealous when you see him eyeing someone else.The only thing that’s serious about your setup is that you have seriously good sex. That doesn’t mean you’ve got a claim to him, so when he’s flirting with another woman, it’s really not your place to get jealous. Instead, why don’t you find someone to flirt with, as well?
  6. You get upset when he treats you as just a hook-up, even though that’s what you are. ICYMI, you’re nothing but an FWB to him (and he should be the same to you). So when you start acting up just because he doesn’t give you the special treatment you think you deserve (and earned for satisfying his sexual cravings), you’re obviously confusing things. Get a cold shower, stat.
  7. You start treating him like he’s your boyfriend. A casual sex setup is supposed to be about enjoying the art of getting off with a friend’s help, right? However, you’ll soon forget about its main purpose when you discover that your FWB has everything you’re looking for in a boyfriend. Big mistake. Even if you don’t say a thing to him, your actions will eventually give away your true intentions, and it won’t be pretty when he figures it out.
  8. You let yourself fall. And this time, it’s not because he got hung up on his penis but because you saw him for who he really is (after you’ve stalked him offline and online). Ouch.
Maine Belonio is a twenty-something mom and writer who has a penchant for coffee, long distance running, Tolkien, Switchfoot, and Jesus. Find her broken, honest, and brave musings at mainebelonio.com.