8 Things Women Care More About Than How A Guy Looks

If there’s anything to learn from that whole “dad bod” thing from earlier this spring, it’s that looks aren’t exactly on the top of women’s lists when it comes to finding a partner. While appearance may still be important to a degree, the reality is that most women care about other things instead of just looks. Maybe it’s because we know looks fade, but personalities are forever? Probably.

So what type of things do women care about more than looks when it comes to finding a partner they want to be with for the long term?

  1. Sense of humor. At the end of the day, every woman wants to be with someone who can tell a great joke and make her laugh until it hurts. Laughter is something that never gets old and never goes out of style.
  2. Kindness. Women want a partner who’s not just kind to her, but kind to her family, friends, strangers, the wait staff at her favorite restaurant, and animals, too. A compassionate human being far outweighs a good-looking person every time.
  3. Romance. While personally I don’t really understand the whole romance thing, every other woman I know has told me that they want a man who’s really, like, over-the-top romantic. They want to be wooed to the point of swooning, and showered in thoughtful gestures and poems.
  4. Intelligence. I don’t think I’m alone when I say one of the sexiest things in the world is intelligence. Someone who’s educated, who reads everything they can get their hands on, is passionate about the knowledge they have, and is an overall smarty-pants is hot as hell. Intelligence always goes a long way.
  5. Confidence. While confidence can often be mistaken for cockiness, the ideal partner is going to find a happy medium between the two. Confidence is basically what separates the boys from the men, and women want to be with a man who knows what he wants and how he’s going to get it.
  6. Chemistry. You don’t need to be with a good looking person to have amazing sexual chemistry, and women know that. Women also know (and want) to have an amazing sex life, because that’s the good stuff that makes for a healthy and happy relationship when both partners are sexually satisfied.
  7. Passion. Passion isn’t just about what goes on in the bedroom, but how a person conducts themselves in the rest of their life, too. Women want a partner who wants to eat up life with a spoon and goes into everything with 150 percent.
  8. Respect. It’s just a natural human desire to want to be respected. While being with a gorgeous guy may look good when you’re out on the town, if he doesn’t respect you, then it’s not worth it. Respect is the type of thing that seals the deal for most, if not all, women. Pretty is great, but respect is the greatest.
Amanda Chatel is a sexual health, mental health, and wellness journalist with more than a decade of experience. Her work has been featured in Shape, Glamour, SELF, Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Elle, Mic, Men's Health and Bustle, where she was a lifestyle writer for seven years. In 2019, The League included Amanda in their "15 Inspirational Feminists Every Single Person Should Follow on Twitter" list.

Amanda has a bachelor's degree in English and master's degree in Creative Writing from the University of New Hampshire. She divides her time between NYC, Paris, and Barcelona.

You can follow her on Instagram @la_chatel or on Twitter @angrychatel.