Throughout my dating career, I’ve dated people who were super conventionally attracive and some who didn’t really fit society’s standard of beauty. If I had to choose between the two, I’d pick the unattractive folks every single time because dating hot people comes with way too much trouble.
Hot people can be selfish. If any of you have ever had sex with the hot guy or hot girl, you most likely know exactly what I’m talking about. Since they’re hot, most classically attractive people are selfish and bad in bed. Why? Who knows, but it seems a lot of sexy men and women feel they aren’t obligated to put as much effort in. I’d rather have great sex and a winning personality than a pretty face.
They aren’t used to being turned down. Hot people get hired more often than the rest of us and tend to have better salaries. They get doors held open for them. They’re rejected less when asking someone out. They get bought drinks by strangers in bars. They can sometimes even get famous or internet famous just for being pretty. Ugh. Being told yes all of the time can make you immature when someone finally does tell you no. That can make having productive chats about what’s going wrong in a relationship much harder than it has to be.
They draw a lot of attention. People listen to attractive people and take them much more seriously than their less than lovely peers. I had a colleague once who was so hot, she drew a lot of attention. Everyone always took her word over everyone else’s in the department. She had no experience in my job, but her word was always taken over mine. It’s called the “beauty premium,” and is an actual, documented thing — the term was coined by scientists. It always makes me feel like a second-class citizen next to my hot counterpart.
Hot people suck at long-term. A recent study published by researchers tied to Harvard revealed that classically attractive people were far more likely to be divorced than their less attractive counterparts. The study seems to suggest that hot people break up more often because they’re less willing to do the work to fix relationships than less attractive people.
People hit on them even when you’re right there. A waitress one time wrote her number on the bill for my date while the two of us were clearly there together. It had never happened to me before and it’s never happened since, but I remember the way it made me feel. Spoiler alert: it didn’t feel good. Nothing makes you feel like garbage faster than some pretty waitress trying to cut in between you and your date while you’re still on the date.
They sometimes have unhealthy and annoying habits. Being hot might be mostly genetic, but staying hot usually takes a lot of work. In my personal experience, hot people are more likely to try potentially dangerous, gross, or unhealthy habits to stay hot. Fad diets, tanning booths, boob jobs, plastic surgery, and unhealthy no-pain-no-gain workout routines are just a few of these habits.
Society thinks super sexy = stupid, and lots of them play along. I like stimulating conversations. I’m interested in space, physics, and how the world is put together. I want to be able to discuss intelligent topics with my friends and partners. Although there are many, very attractive smart people in the world, it seems like many of them tend to put less emphasis on studying and learning. I’d rather have some sweet science-y talk any day.
Sexy people tend to be so much more confident. When you’re rewarded at every stage of your life for being attractive, you tend to feel pretty good about yourself. If that continues through most of your life, you end up being very confident in yourself and your abilities even if that confidence is unfounded and you don’t have the substance to back it up. As someone who’s not classically attractive (and who’s also burdened with anxiety), I don’t tend to have the same ability to be that confident. I find really sexy, confident people quite intimidating, making them bad partners for me personally.
Everyone wants them, not just you. Sexy people are in high demand. Everyone wants that hot chick or that sexy guy to be theirs. My anxiety has a hard time handling being with a hot person. I mean, why would they stick with plain old me when literally the whole world is hitting on them? Let everyone else fight over them; I’ll stick to the more normal looking people.
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