Agreeing to be someone’s FWB or casual hook-up is fine if you know what you’re getting into, but it can be disastrous if you’re a relationship girl who always ends up wanting something more long-term than the person you’re sleeping with. So how you can tell whether or not you can truly handle something non-committal? Well, if you can relate to any of the following, you’re better off waiting for a real relationship:
You overanalyze every damn thing he does.
He took an hour to text back when it used to only take him five minutes. Is he losing interest, talking to another girl, or just busy? He stayed for half an hour after you had sex this time, but last time he chilled for a few hours while you ordered pizza. Does he really have a meeting early or is he avoiding you? If you read too far into everything he says and does, you’re definitely not casual hook-up capable.
You need to feel like you’re part of his life.
You go out of your way (read: stalk him on social media) to find out more about him when you know the only thing you should care about is when you’re hooking up next. It isn’t enough for you to just sleep together, you want to know what he does when he’s not with you and be part of that, too. Bad news.
You need more than just sex to make the sex good.
FWB setups exist so you can use each other to get off. You know you should never ask for anything from him other than an orgasms, but the problem is that you’d have way more of them (and better ones, at that) if dates, cuddling, and other relationshippy stuff was on the table, too. And it is — but only for committed relationships.
You seek his approval in every damn decision you’ll make.
Why in the world do you need to get his permission about the clothes you wear, the food you eat, and how you roll in general? You know you’re free to do anything sans his permission, but you can’t stop yourself from wanting to know whether he approves, because you want to be attractive to him in every way, not just without clothes on.
You can’t deal with the idea that he might be hooking up with someone else.
In a casual sex setup, both parties can sleep around without having to ask for permission from each other (unless you have a previous agreement that your setup is exclusive). Even if you think you’re OK with it, if it makes your heart ache because you just can’t imagine another girl receiving the “benefits” your friend gives you, it’s gone far beyond casual — at least for you.
You assume the role of a “jealous girlfriend” all too often.
Jealousy should be a foreign feeling to you because you’re not his girlfriend, but you’re still annoyed to see him talking to other girls or even knowing he’s going out to the club with his guy friends. Stop and back away slowly.
You have no interest in (or energy for) seeing more than one guy at a time.
You’ve become too invested in your “relationship” that you’ve stopped noticing the other fish in the sea. What’s worse than that is the hidden agenda you’ve developed after hooking up with him for one week: turn him from an FWB to a doting boyfriend. Ugh.
You have falling-head-over-heels-in-love tendencies.
That, plus the fact that you have issues with controlling your emotions, is a recipe for disaster.
You get attached quite easily.
The “no strings attached” concept is a no-brainer, but it’s like rocket science for you. You know you have no business letting your emotions involved in your setup, but you can’t help yourself but fall fast and hard.
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