Hooking Up Is Fun But I’m Looking For More

For some people, staying with one person forever just isn’t in the cards. Maybe they’re more interested in finding themselves and staying solo, while others may just not be big on the whole monogamy thing. Personally, I’ve never been afraid of the prospect of spending the rest of my life with someone, and I’m not interested in dating people that don’t feel the same way.

  1. Messing around is fun, but I’m not down with this hookup culture. Sure, temporary distractions are fun, and they’re especially nice after a nasty breakup. That being said, I rarely stay in that state of mind for long. Many people my age lament the direction dating culture has taken, and I have to agree. For me, hooking up once in a while is fine, but I’ll always prefer commitment.
  2. I’m not good at being the rebound girl, and that’s okay. Honestly, who hasn’t moved on a little too quickly from an old flame? We all do it, but I’ve never been great at being on the receiving end of things. I know it’s a little hypocritical. I’ve definitely used people as rebounds before, but I’ve always tried to be up-front about it. It’s such a bummer when I’m into a guy and I find out he’s just gotten out of a long term relationship. It rarely ends well for the rebound chick! When I find out a crush is finally available, I’ll step back and give him a little time — I’m in for the long haul, and I need to be sure he’s not just using me as a band-aid.
  3. I don’t want anyone that doesn’t want a future with me. Going out on dates with duds has never been appealing, but now that I’m approaching 30, it’s even less so. I’ve given guys a shot even though just by glancing at their Match profile, I knew I wouldn’t be into them. It might sound shallow, but that’s the reality of it all, and I’m sure guys have done the same to me. If a guy enters into a fling with me with an expiration date in mind, I’m not interested.
  4. I need someone that’s up front about what he wants. I may not be in a position where I want a relationship either. As long as we’re on the same page, I don’t have a problem exploring my options. With that in mind, I can’t stand when guys talk about a future with me when they don’t plan on establishing one. Frankly, I think it’s really weird when guys go out of their way to make big plans with me, only to ghost a few weeks later.
  5. To someone, I am a unicorn. A unicorn is a special someone I know I’m hard-pressed to find, that ticks off every box on my “perfect person” list. I may not be perfect, but to someone I’ll be damn close. If I’m not the one, that’s okay, but I prefer that the guy I’m with just lets me know. I don’t want to waste my time with a guy that’s not that into me when my unicorn is out there somewhere.
  6. I have big plans and they don’t have to involve a man. I have exciting ideas for my future that can include a guy — or not. I don’t have a problem traveling the world with someone that wants a future with me, but I don’t plan on allowing a guy that’s not that into me to keep me from pursuing my dreams. If my choice is to be with a temporary guy or no guy at all, I’ll always choose the latter.
  7. I might demand more attention than he’s willing to give. I love staying in contact with people I’m into — call me mad. If I have to wait around for hours for a reply, I’m going to lose interest in a guy way faster than he’ll lose interest in me. If a guy doesn’t plan on locking down a relationship and decides to play hard-to-get with communication, I won’t stick around for long.
  8. I’ve figured out what I need — my guy should know too. Why do some men use women as a temporary distraction? Are they pining after someone else that won’t give them the time of day, or are they just really that bored? As I’ve said before, I don’t mind a random hookup here and there, but I’m not the kind of girl that’ll stick around to act as a temporary fix.
  9. His problems aren’t my problems. The underlying reason for using another human being as a distraction will always rear its ugly head in the end. Maybe instead of pursuing girls men know they’ll never end up with, they should take a little personal time to figure things out. If a guy has no plans to settle down in the near future, he should be more up-front about things.
  10. I’m forever material. Not to toot my own horn, but I know I’m fun to be around and I take relationships seriously. I deserve someone with the same attributes and who appreciates what I have to offer.
Jessica is a proud Pittsburgher that loves to drink tea and adopt cats in her spare time. She is a self-proclaimed Slytherin and would like to visit Harry Potter World as soon as possible!