Are You Acting Like A Hot Girl Or An Ugly Girl? 20 Differences

Are You Acting Like A Hot Girl Or An Ugly Girl? 20 Differences iStock

We’ve all known that girl — she’s not the most conventionally attractive in the bunch, but you’d think she was a Victoria’s Secret model based on the way men fall for her. What’s her deal? She has HOT girl energy, which is all about the way she’s acting rather than her appearance. Want to know if you’re totally hot or definitely not? Here are some differences between the two that set hot girls apart.

  1. The “not” girl in you tries to prove her worth to a man. The hot girl in you will only stay with a guy who understands her worth and doesn’t try to make her doubt it because he’s insecure and threatened by strong women.
  2. The “not” girl in you expects a man to complete her. The hot girl in you completes herself. When you eventually get in a relationship, it’ll be a complementary one. You’re whole all on your own.
  3. The “not” girl makes a man the center of her universe. The hot girl has a life. Acting hot is all about taking life by the balls and going after your greatest dreams and desires. A man has to fit in with that – he’ll never be your number one priority.
  4. The “not” girl tolerates being treated like an afterthought. The hot girl expects to be treated like a priority. She doesn’t settle for breadcrumbs when she knows she deserves a whole damn loaf.
  5. The “not” girl questions her own desirability when a guy isn’t good to her. The hot girl doubts the guy’s desirability. If he can’t see how lucky he is to have her in his life, she’s not going to wait around to teach him.
  6. The “not” girl will agonize over a guy’s confusing behavior. The hot girl has better things to do. Acting hot is all about seeing situations for what they are and if they’re not favorable, moving on without a second thought.
  7. The “not” girl sees herself through a man’s eyes. The hot girl sees herself through her own eyes. She defines herself and never lets anyone blur that image. Nice try, dudes.
  8. The “not” girl expects little and gets little. The hot girl expects a lot and gets a lot. She knows that if she demands less than she deserves, that’s all she’ll end up with. She sets her expectations high and expects guys to meet them.
  9. The “not” girl obsesses over her weaknesses. The hot girl defines herself by her strengths. It’s not that she thinks she’s perfect, just that she knows acting hot is all about embracing the best parts of yourself and working on the parts that need a little help.
  10. The “not” girl needs to be with a man. The hot girl chooses to be with a man. If she’s single for a long time, that’s cool! The right one will come along eventually and she’s not losing sleep over it in the meantime.
  11. The “not” girl revolves her life around a guy. The hot girl maintains her independence. She has an amazing career, a loyal friend group, a supportive family, and plenty of hobbies and passions. Who needs a guy?
  12. The “not” girl ignores red flags. The hot girl runs as soon as she spots them. She knows there’s no sense sticking around for a guy who’s just not on her level.
  13. The “not” girl values attention. The hot girl values respect. Acting hot isn’t about being seen as physically attractive, it’s about being seen as a strong, smart, valuable woman worthy of respect.
  14. The “not” girl works hard to keep a guy interested. The hot girl knows that, while all relationships require work to be healthy and grow, you shouldn’t have to work hard to keep a guy interested if he’s the right guy.
  15. The “not” girl is an expert in denial. The hot girl trusts her gut. She’s been in enough relationships and has enough life experience not to fool herself into thinking that all those red flags are suddenly going to resolve themselves. Nope.
  16. The “not” girl thinks her appearance is the key to keeping a man. The hot girl knows that being intelligent, interesting, and independent matter above all else. Acting hot is all about the vibe you put out rather than the size of your waist or chest.
  17. The “not” girl will wonder whether a guy is into her. The hot girl thinks about whether she’s into the guy. After all, her feelings matter just as much as if, if not more so. What she wants is a guy who’s on her level. Whether he likes her or not, he’ll have to meet high standards for her to be into him.
  18. The “not” girl focuses on what a guy says. The hot girl focuses on how he behaves. Actions speak louder than words, as they say, so he’ll have to get himself together if he wants a chance with her.
  19. The “hot” girl would rather be single than settle. The not girl is afraid to be alone. Why would she be? She has an incredibly full life and a lot she wants to achieve. Weighing herself down with some guy who’s not worthy of her is just not on her radar.
  20. The “not” girl obsesses over how she looks. The hot girl focuses on what she exudes. After all, if you feel good, you look good, and based on the level of self-love she has, she’s drop-dead gorgeous.

How giving off hot girl energy can totally change your life

portrait of a woman staring straight ahead©iStock/Yuri Arcurs

  1. You weed out losers much more quickly. How many times have you dated a guy in the past, only to discover months (or god forbid, maybe even years) down the line that he was a total and utter waste of your time? When you carry yourself with the right energy and hold others to high standards, people who aren’t up to the task are exposed much more quickly.
  2. You don’t struggle as much with self-doubt. Acting like a hot girl means exuding a high level of certainty about everything you do, think, feel, and say. And the more you do this, the easier it becomes to truly embrace this attitude and live it every day. That means you’ll feel much more confident in the decisions you make rather than second-guessing yourself all the time.
  3. You don’t waste precious time or energy. Some people might argue that hot girl energy can be a bit harsh because it means you hold people/things in your life to such high standards. Why is that a bad thing again? Your time is limited just like everyone else’s and you don’t want to lose hours, days, weeks, etc. on something that’s ultimately not going to be rewarding and doesn’t serve you. No thanks!
  4. You never accept less than you deserve. We’ve all been in situations before where we knew that we weren’t being treated well. Someone took us for granted, disrespected us, cheated on us, or even abused us and we allowed it to happen. While another person’s behavior is never your fault, the great thing about hot girl energy is realizing that you never, ever have to put up with anything like that ever again.
  5. You build a life you can be proud of. This is what acting like a hot girl is really all about it. It’s about putting your best foot forward, going after what you want, and striving to be the best possible version of yourself every single day. That will allow you to build the life of your dreams, and you’ll feel damn good doing it.
Halle Kaye is the author of the insightful, inspirational and hilarious dating guide for women, "Maybe He's Just an Asshole: Ditch Denial, Embrace Your Worth, and Find True Love!"