Are You Doing Too Much For Him? 10 Signs He’s Mooching Off You

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to take care of and look after the person you love, but there’s such a thing as doing too much — especially when you’re not getting the same amount of effort in return. Nothing hurts more (or is more annoying) than feeling like your love and kindness are being taken advantage of — and if you notice any of these things, that’s exactly what’s happening:

  1. He moves in way too fast. At first, it might seem super cute that he never wants to leave your house. I mean, it’s obviously because he’s obsessed with you and doesn’t want to spend a minute away from you, right? Maybe, or maybe where you live is a lot better than where he’s currently living. If he’s still shacking it with mom and dad or crashing on a friend’s couch, having a girlfriend with her own place could come with some serious perks.
  2. He always talks about wanting to take care of you. He says literally everything you want to hear when it comes to how he wants to treat you. If he had all the means and finances in the world, he’d be showering you with gifts and trips and steak dinners. But he’s not. Don’t be fooled by his sugarcoated words when his actions can’t keep up.
  3. He can barely take care of himself. The basic functions most responsible adults have mastered by now are huge tasks for him to do. Stuff like remembering to brush your teeth or check your bank account before a big purchase are things he has a lot of trouble remembering to take care of. You could quickly become like his second mom, reminding him of all the chores he has to do. Are you sure that’s a role you want to take on?
  4. He makes you feel guilty doing things for yourself. It’s your money, but when you spend it, it feels an awful lot like his. Getting your nails done suddenly becomes something you feel like you need to ask permission to do, and that’s not okay coming from someone who can’t even support himself.
  5. He always wants to go out. Even though he acts like money is tight when you’re trying to treat yourself, he wants to keep up the appearance of having a financially stable lifestyle. He wants to go out for drinks and wear new clothes. He might not be making a lot (or any money), but he’s sure as hell going to act like he is.
  6. He doesn’t have a real plan for his future. Moochers are always living for the moment and planning the future isn’t something they really think is necessary. They’d much rather roll the dice and see where they land then come up with a doable idea for the next few years.
  7. His dreams are unrealistic. Musicians, YouTubers, all the modern versions of today’s starving artists have the potential to be moochers. His dreams are big and bold, and while it might be romantic at first to be with someone who’s so passionate about what they want for their life, it can quickly turn into resentment when you realize the life they’re chasing is very far away.
  8. He’s always in a crisis. There’s always some big, awful thing that happened to him that’s making it difficult for him to get his life together. Moochers have frequent car accidents and dying grandparents that keep them from any real world responsibilities. Your job is to comfort them during this time of need — not worry about them getting a real job or anything like that.
  9. He can barely hold down a normal job. Moochers tend to have a long, long resume of half-assed jobs that they quit for terrible reasons. Plenty of people have learned how to stay at a job where they didn’t get along with their boss, but for a moocher, it was non-negotiable.
  10. He has little or no bills. At some point, being an adult means having bills. Things you and you alone are responsible for paying every month. Somehow, your man has managed to make it this far without signing up for his own cell phone plan. That’s a big, fat red sign that you should cut your losses, kick him out and run.
  11. He’s pretty much always one step away from being homeless. If you weren’t taking care of him, where do you think he would go? If you’re honestly questioning whether or not his parents would take him back in for the millionth time, then you know you have a moocher. While you might feel semi-responsible for enabling him to live this kind of lifestyle, you’re not responsible for making it easy for him to not grow up. You deserve someone who can pull their own weight, not expect you to carry there’s on top of yours.
Emily is a writer, dog mom, and occasional narcissist living in what her mom refers to as “a bubble.” Geographically speaking, it’s more like Daytona Beach, Florida. A graduate of the University of Central Florida, she is a community editor for a local newspaper and spends most of her time trying to convince her dog to cuddle.