You’ve always valued your independence and you know how important it is to maintain your own identity even when you’re in a relationship. So why are you constantly breathing down your boyfriend’s neck and freak out whenever he’s away from you? If you relate to any of these behaviors, sorry to inform you but you’re a clingy girlfriend and need to take a step back.
You double- and triple- text.
Hey, double-texting isn’t a big deal, but if you’re constantly doing it because you’re not getting a reply from the guy then it’s a bad sign you’re battling to give him some space. There’s nothing wrong with sending a single conversational thread over several messages, but if you’re continuing to badger him throughout the day, there’s a problem.
You get moody when he can’t chat.
You want to chat to your guy multiple times during the day, but he might not want that much contact. Or maybe he can’t commit to that all the time. If you become irritable or moody when he can’t give you the amount of texting you want, think about why you need to talk so much and if you’re actually just keen to chat to him out of insecurity.
You “check in.”
Ah, the dreaded “check in” message when it’s clear you just want to see what he’s up to when you’re not around. Don’t do it! Not only can people see right through it but it’s irritating. If you’re worried about where he’s at on a Saturday night, ask him instead of trying to play it cool and coming across creepy.
You’re always on his socials.
How often do you check your partner’s social media profiles? Weekly? Daily? Hourly? It’s like you have to keep tabs on him so you can feel in control, but are you his girlfriend or the FBI? Think about how you’d feel if he was always checking out every single one of your social media updates.
You can’t stop thinking about him.
This is a sign you’re clingy that he might not ever know about but it can still be damaging. The reason? It’s like you’re revolving your entire life around him, even when he’s not around. Try to distract yourself with other things so you don’t neglect the rest of your life.
You monitor his social interactions.
Maybe you’re not following his every move online but you’re trying to keep tabs on his social life IRL. So, if he mentions that there’s a new woman who works in his office, you might drill him with questions to find out who she is and what they talk about. Yikes. Clinginess is usually rooted in insecurity and perhaps even jealousy, but it just makes you feel anxious all the time.
You initiate all your dates.
You don’t need to wait around for him to ask you out, but if you’re always the one who’s making plans and trying to get him to change his schedule for you, you could be making him backtrack a little instead of meeting you halfway. Maintain a bit of a distance sometimes so that he can show you he wants to be with you. This will also help to keep the spark alive.
You’re the queen of tmi.
While you want to tell him everything about yourself because new love is exciting, it can also seem like you’re trying too hard or jumping the gun. It also becomes boring if someone is an open book. Make him want to get to know you bit by bit, as it’s so much more exciting. Love is best when it’s a slow burn.
You’re all about him.
If you don’t focus on your life because you’re always thinking about him and wanting to spend time with him, that will make you lose yourself. It will also sabotage your relationship because there’s nothing more interesting than being with someone who has a life and loves it.
You hate wanting him.
Maybe you actually hate how much you need him in your life. You want to be with him all the time and you feel like he’s just going to disappoint you. You might have some trust issues that are what’s making you clingy in your relationship. You need to work through them otherwise you’re going to be caught in a tug of war with yourself because you’ll crave him but push him away.
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