Dear Boyfriend: Thank You For Tolerating Me When I’m Being A Pain In The Ass

Dear Boyfriend: Thank You For Tolerating Me When I’m Being A Pain In The Ass

I’ll be the first to admit that while I’m usually pretty laid back, I can be a nightmare when I’m in a bad mood. Whether it’s over something legitimately terrible that happened or just because I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, I know that I’m hard to deal with when I’m not my normal, cheerful self. I’m grateful to have a boyfriend who stands by me through the best and the worst of times, and this is what I’d like to tell him when I’m hard to deal with:

  1. I put up with your moods too. I’m definitely not the only one who’s hard to be around sometimes. It’s doesn’t make it okay for me to take things out on you, but no one can be happy and cheerful 24/7. We’re bound to see each other’s bad sides every once in awhile, and I’ll deal with yours if you can deal with mine.
  2. I know I’m being irrational. It might not seem like I know how ridiculous I’m being, but most of the time, I do — I’m just too grouchy to care. I wish I knew how to always be logical and keep my emotions in check, but that’s just not realistic. I’m only human, and I feel lucky to have you by my side even when I’m at my worst.
  3. Sometimes I’m just in the mood to argue. There are days when I’m not particularly good at picking my battles. I just want to argue, and it doesn’t matter what about. It has nothing to do with us or our relationship — I’m just looking for a fight. It may not be the healthiest habit of mine, but it’s one that’s unlikely to change anytime soon.
  4. It’s probably better to just leave me alone. If I’m really having a bad day, the best course of action would probably just be to leave me alone. You don’t need to try to fix anything, and your attempts at advice will probably just annoy me more. I know you just want to help, but if I decide I need your expertise, I promise I’ll ask for it.
  5. I’ll apologize eventually. Once I’ve had time to calm down, I’ll probably realize snapping at you wasn’t the right thing to do. I have no problem saying sorry when I know I’m wrong, so if I lash out at you on a bad day, I’ll let you know how much I regret it. It just might take a few hours.
  6. I’ll do my best to make it up to you. Not only will I apologize, but I’ll do whatever I can to show you just how sorry I am. Maybe I’ll bake your favorite cookies, or I’ll go see whatever movie you want without complaining that I really don’t like Tom Cruise. The last thing I want is for you to wonder why you’re even with me, so I’m still going to try to show you that I’m worth my bad moments.
  7. Not everyone gets to see my ugly side. I’m well aware of how difficult I can be at times, but I hope you realize that means I’m comfortable around you. I’m not scared to let you see my tears, and I trust you enough to let you see what’s behind the forced smile that I put on for strangers. It’s not always pretty, but it means the world to me that you can love both the good and the bad in me.
  8. I know I’m at least partially to blame. I might make it seem like you’ve done something wrong when I overreact to certain things, but I know most arguments we have are half my fault. It takes two people to have a fight, and even though I don’t always succeed, I try to recognize my role and take responsibility for it.
  9. I appreciate you being there for me. Even when I just want to mope by myself, I’m glad you’re around. There are those times when it feels like nothing could cheer me up, but you manage to pull it off. I appreciate you listening to me rant and rave about work problems, family issues, and whatever else comes up. I feel very lucky that you’re there to both love me and put up with me.
  10. I’ll try to be better. I can’t promise I’ll never have a bad day again, but I can say that I will try to stop myself before I take things out on you. We both have to learn to deal with each other’s ugly sides, but the least I can do is be self aware and do my best to treat you well.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, Complex.ca and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo