My boyfriend and I had just returned to the city after (what I thought was) a really fun vacation. Later that day, I checked my Facebook and had to sit down: he’d changed his status to “single.” He’d broken up with me without saying a word and the news was splashed on his social media profile for all to see. WTF?
I was completely blindsided by the “breakup.” Okay, so we’d had a small argument during our holiday, but why didn’t he break up with me in person if he was looking for an out? Why did he have to take it to Facebook out of all places? I was totally floored and couldn’t believe our five-month relationship was ending in such a weird way. Who the hell changes their relationship status to “single” without properly breaking up with their partner?
I felt humiliated. I’m sorry, but breaking up on social media is just a way to humiliate someone. I was so ashamed. It was like he had entered a room full of people we knew and declared we were over without me present. I had no idea what possessed him to do such a thing and I didn’t know how to react, other than with extreme embarrassment.
It made me look like the bad guy when really he was the one at fault. People on our friend lists would either think we’d discussed the breakup already or think that I was the one who had treated him so badly — why else would someone dump their partner in such a cruel way? And yet, I’d done nothing wrong to this loser. He was the bad guy for not having the nerve to tell me to my face that it was over.
I got no explanation or closure. There are breakup stages that usually happen after getting dumped: your partner tells you what he’s feeling, why he wants to break up, and you have a bit of time to let the info sink in. But this breakup was just a bullet out of a blue sky, straight for my heart with no warning. The worst thing is that seeing my breakup on Facebook gave me no closure at all. He’d dumped me on social media without a single message or explanation.
I actually reached out to him to figure out WTF was going on — and he ignored me. Screw just accepting it and moving on — I needed to know what was going on and why, so I sent him a text, telling him I’d seen the Facebook breakup but wanted to know what was happening. The loser didn’t even have the decency to reply to me!
He was such a coward. I used to think breaking up via text was bad enough, but this was a whole new level of cowardice. At least give me a reason or tell me that it’s over in a more humane way. I couldn’t believe I’d dated such a jerk!
I tormented and blamed myself for his behavior. Not getting a decent breakup or any closure at all really messed with me. I thought long and hard about what could have changed within him. We’d had a stupid misunderstanding on our holiday — had that been enough for him to walk away? But then why? Didn’t I mean more to him than that? It was terrible not to know what was going on and to be filled with so many unanswered questions.
There was no valid reason for him to do this. After chatting to my close friends about this and taking some time to process things, I realized that no matter what had happened between us, he had no good reason to break up with me in such a horrible way. I deserved more than what he’d done. He was the bad person here, not me.
I ended up blocking him. Soon, my sadness and shock turned into anger. Screw him for treating me like this! I decided to get my own back by blocking the jerk on Facebook because we were still listed as friends. At least if he ever tried to check my profile out again, he’d see that he wasn’t allowed access to it. The last thing I needed was to see his updates on my newsfeed. I also changed my phone number to make a fresh start.
In hindsight, there’d been a few hints that he was a jerk. It’s funny how looking back on the relationship, there had definitely been signs that we weren’t meant to last. He wasn’t a respectful person, and this Facebook breakup only served to confirm that. During our relationship, he’d flirted with another woman in front of me and once he pitched up at my father’s birthday totally hungover. I should have dumped him then!
I realize now that he did me a huge favor. I realized that although he’d been a total jerk, he’d done me a huge favor by getting the hell out of my life in such a quick way. He wasn’t a nice guy and the good times we’d shared could never measure up to the ugliness. Ugh, I wanted to pretend this relationship had never happened.