I Can’t Date A Guy Who Doesn’t Know How To Communicate

Why do so many guys find it so difficult to communicate? There’s something about it that they can’t seem to get their heads around and their way of doing things is completely different to how women do it. I can’t handle a guy who can’t communicate on even a basic level. If I’m dating him, he needs to be able to speak up, be direct, and say what’s on his mind—oh, and get in touch in the first place.

  1. I JUST WANT TO KNOW HE’S ALIVE. Half the time, I just want to know my boyfriend’s safe, whether that’s via phone call, text, Snapchat, or whatever. If he’s been on a heavy night out drinking and passed out in bed fully clothed (it happens to the best of us), I just want to know that he’s alive the next day. I don’t think that’s unreasonable. In fact, it shows that I care more than anything!
  2. IT SHOWS HE’S THINKING OF ME. Even if we’re apart for a mere matter of hours or months at a time, when he sends me a text or calls me, it shows that he’s thinking of me. It doesn’t matter where he is or what he’s doing—in that moment, his attention is on me and it’s nice to know he cares just as much as I do.
  3. IT FEELS GOOD WHEN I HEAR FROM HIM UNEXPECTEDLY. It’s always great to hear from him, of course, but hearing from him spontaneously is even better. When I’m having a bad day at work, my boss is yelling at me for not completing a piece of work on time and I have an important client presentation in a couple of hours, little texts from him with a few kind words that come out of the blue mean so much. It’s a nice, completely unexpected surprise that instantly boosts my mood.
  4. IT BRIDGES PHYSICAL DISTANCE. Even if we can’t be together physically, we can still spend time together nowadays thanks to wondrous inventions such as FaceTime and Skype. It helps me to feel closer to my boyfriend when he’s away if he communicates this way. It’s super important to me as it keeps the relationship—and the spark—alive.
  5. IT REASSURES ME AND STOPS ME FROM OVERTHINKING. When we’ve had an argument, for example, and he drops me a text, I instantly feel better because he’s attempting to reach out to me. This tells me we’re going to be okay. Likewise, when he’s out drinking with his friends and they’re having photos taken with girls that his friends are posting on social media, a quick text tells me there’s nothing in it and puts me at ease. It stops me from escalating the situation in my mind, looking like a psycho and jumping to the wrong conclusions. (Hey, it happens!)
  6. COMMUNICATION IS IMPORTANT. DUH. Let’s face it—we’re not going to get very far in a relationship without it. In fact, we simply can’t build a relationship without it. It doesn’t have to be perfect, as nothing in life is, but it has to be decent enough that it helps oour relationship thrive instead of being detrimental.
  7. I EXPECT OPENNESS AND HONESTY. I’m a very honest and open person, therefore I expect the same from my boyfriend. I want him to be able to share things with me, I want to know what he’s thinking and feeling—heck, I even want to know if he decided to go with the tuna sandwich for lunch or the slice of pizza! I want him to be able to confide in me and be emotionally closer to me than with anyone else. Is that too much to ask? I don’t think so. I’m just a hopeless romantic.
  8. IT’S EASIER TO RESOLVE ISSUES IF WE CAN TALK ABOUT THEM. If he’s badass when it comes to communication, it makes it so much easier to resolve potential arguments before they even happen. He communicates the concern early on, we talk it through and nip it in the bud then and there. If he doesn’t tell me what’s going on in his head then how am I meant to know? I’m not a mind reader! He might be acting in a certain way because of the way he’s feeling and I misinterpret the situation because he hasn’t told me. Then it’s hello, World War Three!
  9. I MAKE EFFORT SO HE SHOULD TOO. I’m absolutely terrible at texting people back—like, literally the worst—but I make a special effort not to be with my boyfriend. I try hard to make him feel special every single day and I expect him to do the same for me. It’s all about those little things. They’re what keeps the romance alive, and sometimes those little things include the odd text message.
  10. I DON’T WANT A MUTE FOR A BOYFRIEND. By this, I’m in no way hating on quiet people. I’m a quiet person myself. What I mean is, bottom line, I want a boyfriend who’s vocal with me. A boyfriend who speaks up and shares what’s on his mind. A boyfriend who supports me but also challenges the things that I say. I want someone who’s my equal. And if I’m a great communicator, that means he needs to be too.
Katie Davies is a British freelance writer who has built a career creating lifestyle content that caters to the modern woman. When she's not sipping tea, shopping, or exploring a new city, you'll probably find her blogging about her fashion and travel adventures at https://trendytourist.co.uk.