You Can’t Make Someone Fall For You, But You Can Up Your Chances

Sometimes you find yourself in that murky limbo where you really like someone, but you’re not sure where they stand and if they feel the same. While you can’t make a guy fall for you, you can certainly stack the deck in your favor.

Be consistent.

Some friends may urge you to cut off communication with the person you like for a while in order to make them miss you, but the inconsistency is going to do nothing but frustrate. Stay cool and don’t suddenly freak out on them.

Make some great eye contact.

Eye contact is a great way to connect with someone. In a recent study, New York psychologist and professor Arthur Aron found that when you paired up random strangers, the ones who had to stare into each other’s eyes for four minutes felt way more connected than the ones that didn’t. Make a point to look your crush right in the eye when you talk, and you’ll draw them in. And stop staring at your phone!

Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there.

The dating scene is scary, sure, but not that scary. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with liking someone and showing it. This isn’t middle school where people will make fun of you for having a crush.

Show your affection.

Show you care in non-verbal ways, like touching their arm or leaning it close when you’re talking. If you’re seated around a table at dinner, position yourself next to them rather than across.

Be vulnerable

. Just because you’re strong and independentdoesn’t mean you should hide all of your weaknesses and vulnerabilities. People like you because you’re real, not because you’re a robot. If you need help with something, don’t be afraid to ask. Your crush just might be happy to help.

Be clear about your intentions.

These days, people opt for the “hang out” language as a way to save face if someone isn’t interested. Unfortunately, that can make everyone confused about what you’re doing. Are you dating or are you friends? If you have actual, real feelings for them, say it now so you can avoid any sitcom-style misunderstandings.

Don’t play hard to get.

Pretending that you’re not interested in someone doesn’t make them want you more. It just makes them think you’re not interested, and you move on. Ignore older generations’ advice and ditch the “hard to get” game.

Show your appreciation.

No, I’m not saying you should pay back your dinner with sex. Instead, text your date a “thanks for dinner, that was lovely” the next morning. It’s just a nice thing to do and is a sweet little reminder that you exist and are lovely.

Go with the flow.

As excited as you are about your crush, don’t force the flow of the beginning of the relationship. If you only went on one date in the last week, it doesn’t mean they hate you — it probably just means they’re busy. Take your time. The best relationships happen when both people go at about the same pace, naturally.

Ask for what you want.

This is 2016. If you think it’s up to the other person to make all the moves, you need to wake up. Not only is it OK for you to ask for what you want, like going on a date or taking things to the next level, most people find that sexy. Hey, it’s worth a shot.

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