Choose A Man Who Knows & Loves Himself If You Want A Happy Relationship

Don’t waste your time on guys who are inconsistent, don’t know what they want, or don’t love themselves—this is guaranteed to break your heart. If you want a happy relationship, you need a guy who knows and loves himself.

  1. He can truly love someone else. Why is self-love so important? If he loves himself, he won’t put himself in unhealthy situations. It also means that he’ll be able to love you properly. For instance, a person who doesn’t know how to hold down a job won’t be able to care for another person’s career—he’ll mistreat it. Similarly, a man who doesn’t love himself won’t be able to love you.
  2. He has the 411 on himself. If he knows himself then he’ll have a good handle on his values, dreams, standards, morals and what makes him feel good. He’ll know what to do to make himself happy. This means he’ll be smart enough to know how to extend that happiness to you, taking your dreams, standards, and needs into account.
  3. He respects himself. If he loves himself, he’ll respect himself. Period. You want a man who respects himself enough to stick to his values and not go running with the crowd if it undermines his beliefs. Self-respect will also make it more likely for him to respect other people, including you.
  4. He gives you stability. When a man has a strong, clear sense of who he is, what you see will be what you’ll get. There won’t be any mystery surrounding him and this will make you feel safe and happy in your relationship.
  5. He won’t mess you around. A man who gives you mixed signals—one minute he’s into you, the next minute he’s not—is a guy who’s confused about himself and what he wants out of life. You don’t need that in your life.
  6. He knows how to communicate like an adult. You want a guy who can communicate with you in a healthy way, who knows how to clearly express what’s on his mind and doesn’t beat around the bush. This comes from having a good sense of self and emotional intelligence—yes, it’s so much more important than IQ!
  7. He won’t indulge in destructive behaviors. Guys who self-destruct tend to be out of tune with themselves, not sure about who they are, and have a lot of drama. You want a guy who can rise above all that crap by knowing what he doesn’t want in his life and avoiding pain instead of being drawn to it.
  8. He won’t be a man-child. A man who’s afraid to commit, needs to find himself, or doesn’t take stock of who he is every now and then isn’t mature enough to be in a serious relationship. You want a real man who’ll grow from experiences so that he can continue improving himself and working through his issues.
  9. He has self-esteem. You don’t want an arrogant guy, but you do want a guy who has positive self-esteem. If he sees himself in a good light and has the confidence to make things happen for himself, he’ll also be the kind of guy who won’t let insecurities hold him back. Remember: if he holds himself back, he’ll hold your relationship back.
  10. He has nothing to prove. When you know yourself and love yourself, you don’t have to try to prove your worth to other people. This kind of man won’t try too hard to impress you or love-bomb you. His feelings will be genuine instead of manipulative.
  11. He has true strength. You want a man who can look after himself. This doesn’t mean you want a guy who’ll punch some guy who offends him at the pub, but someone who can be strong when faced with life’s adversities and enemies. It’s about emotional strength, not the physical kind.
  12. He sees beyond the present moment. “Mr. Right Now” is the kind of guy who’s all about living in the moment and dating for as long as it serves him. But a guy who has self-knowledge, confidence and loves himself will see beyond the moment—he’ll be planning his future. His dating outlook will also be about choosing the kind of woman he sees in his future, not just a booty call for this weekend.
  13. He can give you what you want. You can’t find a happy, healthy relationship if you’re dating a guy who doesn’t know who he is. He won’t be able to give you what you want because he can’t give himself what he wants and needs! This is the guy who’ll promise you the world but then not live up to his words.
  14. He can fulfill himself. When a man loves himself, he also loves his life and works hard at making it the best it can be. When he’s able to fulfill himself, he won’t be needy for love, hoping that when you enter his life you’ll help to make it better than what it is, or even rescue him from all that’s wrong with it. That’s BS. Instead, he’ll know what he wants out of life and will be an independent man who makes things happen. That’s the kind of guy you want in your life.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.