Even if you think you’re a good communicator, there might be sneaky signals undermining your credibility. Certain body language cues and conversational habits can make people doubt your trustworthiness, even if you’re completely genuine. This is incredibly frustrating, so it’s important to be aware of these habits so you can change them. Here are 15 behaviors that can make you seem untrustworthy — don’t let them get the better of you!
1. You can’t make eye contact with people.
You might break eye contact out of shyness or nervousness, but be warned: some people might take it the wrong way. Avoiding eye contact is often associated with lying, NBC News reports, making the other person question your honesty. Even worse, this could create a vicious cycle – their suspicion makes you more nervous, causing you to look away even more. Ugh!
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2. You fidget a lot.
Fidgeting with your hair, tapping your foot, or constantly picking at your face – these might be nervous habits, but to someone else, it can look suspicious. Since fidgeting is typically associated with deception, they might assume you’re uncomfortable because you’re not telling the truth.
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3. You start walking in the middle of a conversation.
Walking away mid-conversation, especially during an argument, is a recipe for misunderstanding. Even if you just need a breather, the other person might think you’re avoiding the issue or being dismissive. Instead of storming off, try explaining that you need a few minutes to cool down before continuing the conversation.
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4. You nod at inappropriate times.
While nodding is a positive body language cue that shows the other person you’re listening to them, if you’re constantly doing it, especially at times when it’s inappropriate or kind of weird to do so, it starts to become annoying and insincere. It’s like you’re just doing it to make the person think you’re listening.
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5. You interrupt people.
While you might just be eager to share, interrupting constantly sounds selfish and inconsiderate. The other person might feel like you don’t value their opinion, making them question your trustworthiness. Remember, good communication is a two-way street, so listen actively and wait your turn to speak. What you have to say likely isn’t any more important than what they’re talking about, so chill out a bit.
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6. You smile too much.
Imagine someone staring at you with a plastered-on smile for the entire conversation. A bit creepy, right? While a genuine smile is friendly, a forced one can make you seem fake or insincere. Let your emotions show naturally – it’ll create a more authentic and comfortable connection. Per The Guardian, the empathy test is the easiest way to tell whether someone’s smile is genuine or totally put-on.
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7. You smirk or laugh at what people say.
Constantly laughing, smirking, or making fun of someone’s words isn’t playful teasing – it’s dismissive and hurtful. You might think you’re being funny, but you’re making the other person feel small and unheard. Don’t be surprised if they stop confiding in you. Why would they trust someone who doesn’t take their feelings seriously?
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8. You repeat what the person has said before answering their question.
Rephrasing what someone has said can help you to listen to them better (it’s an important part of active listening), but it can be inappropriate at times. If you rephrase questions that people ask you before answering them, it can seem like you’re stalling to come up with something to say. Lie alert!
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9. You zone out when someone expresses their feelings.
Looking away or zoning out when someone shares their feelings is a surefire way to make them feel unseen. Even if you don’t mean it, this lack of engagement shows that you don’t care or aren’t trustworthy. Boost your empathy and focus on being present. Your undivided attention will go a long way in building solid, supportive connections.
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10. You stand too close to people.
If you don’t know someone very well, standing or siting too close to them could make them view you negatively. It’s a violation of their personal boundaries and can make people feel like you’re dominating them (or just trying to make them feel uncomfortable). Try to keep a bit of physical distance and respect their space.
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11. You glance at your phone constantly.
Checking your phone during a conversation sends a clear message: whatever’s on that screen is more important than the person in front of you. It’s disrespectful and a great way to make people feel unimportant and untrusted. If you want genuine connections, ditch the phone and give your full attention to the person you’re with.
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12. You make jokes during serious conversations.
Cracking jokes or changing the subject when someone opens up about something serious is a disrespectful move. It signals that you’re uncomfortable with vulnerability or don’t care to offer support. This kind of dismissive behavior erodes trust and makes it hard to build genuine connections.
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13. You say, “Trust me.”
Demanding trust is a surefire way to lose it. Trustworthy people let their actions speak for themselves. If you find yourself constantly fighting your own corner and trying to reassure everyone that you can be relied upon, take a step back. It might be a sign that your behavior is actually creating the opposite effect.
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14. You start sentences with, “Honestly…”
Claiming you’re about to “tell it like it is” can actually make people doubt your words. It’s like those used car commercials where they promise honesty – it makes you wonder why they need to make the promise in the first place. True trustworthiness isn’t announced, it’s shown through your actions and the way you consistently communicate.
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15. You get defensive when someone corrects you.
If someone tries to bring their attention to your behavior or something you’ve done that hurt them, it’s a red flag for them if you react defensively. It gives the impression that you don’t take responsibility for your behavior. This makes it difficult to trust you if you’re deflecting and dodging during conversation, so try to be more open to what others have to say.
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