You Can Now Get A Crocheted Penis Blanket To Keep You Warm On Cold, Lonely Nights

Summer may be on the way, but when it sun goes down, it can still get pretty chilly. Instead of freezing while you lounge on the couch eating snacks and watching Netflix, why not keep yourself warm with this crocheted penis blanket? You can climb inside and feel all cozy and toasty in no time, and who doesn’t love cuddling up with a massive, ahem, member?

  1. This bad boy is the creation of Etsy seller Naughtymaturegifts. The shop is run by Hakan in Turkey and is full of all kinds of hilariously suggestive crocheted gifts, from this boob pillow to these house slippers with massive dongs coming off the front of them. If you want to get a cheeky present for someone you know would get a laugh out of this, Hakan’s shop is the place to go.
  2. So what’s the deal with the penis blanket? If it’s not immediately obvious, it’s incredible and comes complete with balls at the feet. These are perfect to rest your tired dogs on after a long day at work or just to make you laugh, which they definitely will. “Would you like to have a different and funny blanket?” the product description reads. “This Penis blanket with hoodie is wrapped around your feet and then stretches back and lies on your body. This blanket will come in its cover with its balls and you will need to inflate the balls.” Challenge accepted!
  3. Most impressively, everything in the shop is handmade! There’s nothing more I love than supporting small businesses, especially ones with such a great sense of humor. However, what makes Hakan’s work even more impressive is that everything they sell is 100% handmade. That’s so much work and so much talent!
  4. If you want your own crocheted penis blanket, you can grab one HERE. They are a little pricey at $150 each but given how much work goes into them and how unique they are, they’re well worth the price. Don’t forget to check out the rest of the stuff the shop sells too – it’ll crack you up!
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love.