You’ve become friends with an amazing guy and you’re starting to develop some more than friendly feelings for him. Lucky for you, it seems like he’s keen on romance too. You might be acting like you’re already dating him, but if you’re not his official GF, you’re actually “frating.” Here are 12 signs.
- Frating is the stage before dating. According to Urban Dictionary, frating is the pre-dating phase, when you and the guy have grown in friendship with the intention of possibly dating. See, “possibly.” Nothing’s guaranteed here.
- It’s not friends with benefits. You’re not sleeping together while being friends, knowing that you’re never going to date. When frating, you’re on the way towards a relationship. Or at least you hope you are.
- You might be exclusive. You might have tunnel vision for this guy so you want to see where things go with him before you go date other men. But you don’t actually know if he’s being exclusive too. Just because it feels like you’re headed to relationship bliss, it doesn’t mean that you’re not headed to a fat dead-end. Frating can often be quite vague and confusing.
- Some might say it’s actually casual. You can’t really blame someone for thinking that frating is just a bit of casual dating. I mean, it’s not like you’re an official couple yet and you certainly haven’t had The Talk.
- You’re getting to know each other. You might be friends, but you don’t know each other well enough to take things to the next level. So you’re in the “getting to know each other” phase, which can be frustrating ’cause you respect a guy who takes things slow, but it’s annoying when he doesn’t move a little faster.
- For you, it might be something more. You might argue and say, “How can frating not be anything? It feels like something real!” Of course it does. Just think of how you’re investing time and energy into this guy. You’re not doing all that for nothing.
- The “f” word could pose a problem. The “F” word in frating stands for “friendship” and you know how that can totally wreck your dating plans. If you’ve started out as friends in the hope of becoming more, you could end up with a guy who actually isn’t keen on anything more than being your buddy. In fairytales (and romcoms), the idea of starting out as friends is romantic and exciting. However, in RL it often happens that friendship either develops into romance on its own, or it never does. But you can never tell which one will and which one will end up in heartache. Make sure you’re not calling your situation with the guy frating just to make yourself feel better about how it’s not progressing.
- He might not even think he’s frating. Are you just talking? Are you “almost dating”? Ugh, he might not even be frating you! What you and your besties might label frating, he might be thinking is just a way to be flirty friends until he can hook up with you.
- You need to know where you stand. You need to ask him what’s happening. Although it’s still too early to have The Talk, you should at least fish for what he’s looking for, such as by asking him what his general thoughts are about relationships and what type of dating he’s into. For instance, it might be that he’s really just looking for something casual that doesn’t lead to anything else. In this case, frating could be a permanent scenario. It’s best to know as soon as you can so you don’t waste your time.
- Frating poses a friend-zoning risk. Yes, even women can get friend-zoned! That’s another good reason for you to ask him where he’s at. It’s so easy for frating to end up in the friendzone, from which there’s no way back. One minute, you’re chatting and flirting, the next minute you’re losing momentum with the guy. The sparks are fizzling and you’re really too comfortable with him. How the hell are you supposed to create a hot relationship out of that? You can’t. Frate at your own risk!
- Signs he’s more friend than BF. You can tell your frating is becoming more friendship than dating if the guy treats you like his BFF. For instance, if loves to confide in you about his life, he’s always inviting you to group outings, he introduces you as his sister, and/or the mild flirts between you don’t really lead up to anything or have completely gone. WTF happened? If such things have started happening recently, it could be that he was feeling you out in the frating phase, then changed his mind and doesn’t want to date you anymore—but he still wants to be friends. Ugh.
- There ARE signs he’s keen on a relationship. On the other hand, if your frating is going to lead to proper dating, the guy won’t linger in this phase for too long. He’ll be making those flirts count, such as by not only acting like your BF but having the clear intention to become your BF. Best of all, he’ll tell you straight up that he’s keen on a relationship and the whole world will know it.
