The Dating Struggles Of Tomboys Everywhere

It’s hard finding a guy who understands that you’re still a woman, you just don’t mind getting dirty or hanging with the guys. You don’t freak out over a broken nail, yet guys are breaking their own necks trying to get to those prissy girly girls. What gives? However, you still try, hoping some guy will open his eyes and see how incredible tomboys really are.

  1. You’re just one of the guys. It’s a daily struggle of being a tomboy: You’re always seen as just one of the guys. When you act, talk and think like all your guy friends, they see you as one of them. You have to go out of your way to remind them you’re actually a woman.
  2. Jeans are dressed up. Why do guys want to take you to a nice restaurant with a dress code? Doesn’t anyone realize that jeans are dressy? After all, you’re wearing the ones without holes or stains. You’re not into high heels or mini-skirts, but that doesn’t mean you don’t care about your appearance.
  3. You say what’s on your mind. The problem with being a tomboy is you have the same mental filter as your male friends. In other words, little to none. So, you tend to say whatever’s on your mind without a filter. Sometimes, dates get offended way too easily.
  4. You call your date out on his BS. You know all the games and lines. You’re here to have a nice date, but he’s trying to play games with you. So, you call him out on it and he get pissed. Suddenly, you’re left calling a cab or a friend to pick you up.
  5. You’re not into the fake giggle. How the hell do women even do that? It sounds so painful. You love to laugh, but only when something’s actually funny. If your date expects you to fake laugh at all his bad jokes, he should just date someone else.
  6. Heels are hell. Heels, aka Satan’s shoes, weren’t made for anything other than looking cute on a shelf. Sure, you have a few pairs because you’re supposed to, but wearing them isn’t worth the pain it causes in your toes. You prefer to be able to walk the next day, thank you.
  7. Sitting in a dress is impossible. You want to tell him that fast food is fine versus having to wear a dress to go to a nice restaurant. No matter how you sit, it feels like everything’s showing. You can’t help but think how much more comfortable you’d be at McDonald’s in your jeans and hoodie. When you do have to put on a dress to go to a wedding or another formal event, it’s like torture.
  8. You actually want to be treated like a girl. Some guys take one look and assume that since you’re a tomboy, they should just treat you like a guy. Tomboy doesn’t actually equal boy. You still want to be treated like a woman. You want a gentleman and someone who calls you beautiful just because.
  9. Most guys are intimidated by youYou probably already share quite a few interests. When you start talking about sports, cars, technology and his other favorite topics like a pro, he feels a little intimidated. While a real man doesn’t mind, some run away like scared little girls.
  10. You’re sick of being told to wear makeup. You don’t have a problem if other women want to wear makeup. Hell, you kind of like those tinted lip glosses and maybe even SPF BB creams. But why should you fake what you look like just to get a guy? He’ll either like you sans makeup or he can kiss your ass.
  11. You hate pretending to be a girly girl. Every tomboy has tried it at least once. You dress up, laugh at the right times and pretend you’re the perfect beauty queen. Yet, the moment he discovers the real you, he’s gone. Not to mention, donning the girly girl persona is like wearing the world’s itchiest wool sweater.
  12. You want to go to a sports bar, not a Michelin-starred restaurant. Screw the 5-star restaurant. You want to go to a nice sports bar instead. At least there, they have real food and not weird stuff you can’t even pronounce with miniature food portions. You want food and it doesn’t hurt that the game’s on.
  13. Dates turn into competitions. Tomboys are naturally competitive. That also ruins more than a few dates. It doesn’t take much to put you into competition mode. It’d be easier to just take an ax to your date’s ego and be done with it.
  14. Gas will happen. You’re used to not having to hold back around your guy friends. Gas happens and in most male friend groups, it’s encouraged. Trying to remember to keep it in on a date just isn’t going to happen. A belch or even worse is going to escape at some point.
  15. Guys get jealous of your friends. Anytime you have more male than female friends, any guy you date is likely going to feel a little jealous. You have better things to do than deal with petty jealousy and you’re definitely not ditching your friends. He can either accept your friends or move on.

Why tomboys are just as hot as girly girls

So what if you’re not into makeup, dresses, and trying to be super cute all the time? You don’t have to be a girly girl to be attractive. You’re not doomed to be lonely just because you’d rather wear jeans and kick back and watch sports with the guys. It’s actually hot to not be a girly girl. Here’s why.

  1. You’re ready so much faster. When you don’t have to spend hours on makeup, hair, and finding the perfect outfit – you’re always ready to go. A woman who doesn’t take forever to get ready is incredibly hot to a guy. They like knowing a woman’s down for a last-minute surprise date.
  2. You always look like you. You probably know a few girly girls who wear push-up bras, tummy-flattening underwear, false eyelashes and ultra-high heels. They might look great when they’re made up, but what happens when they take everything off? You’re not going to leave a guy wondering “what happened” when it’s time to hit the sheets.
  3. You’re not obsessed with guys. You might want to date, but you’re not fixated on it. If you don’t get asked out, it’s no big deal. You’re happy doing your own thing. You know a guy will come along and until he does, you’re busy having fun with your friends and family.
  4. You actually eat, even the messy stuff. Screw the fad diets and ordering ladylike dishes at restaurants. You’re happy to dive into a messy burger, even if you’re on a first date. After all, if you can’t eat what you want, what’s the point? You’re more focused on enjoying the food instead of what others think.
  5. You’re not afraid to get dirty. Girly girls don’t mind getting dirty, as long as no one else is around. Tomboys don’t care either way. Odds are, you’re either wearing no makeup or little makeup. You know dirt washes off and life goes on. You’d rather have fun and worry about the dirt later.
  6. You’re more adventurous. The whole princess thing is adorable, but guys find it hot when a woman is adventurous. You love doing many of the same things guys like such as sports, camping, playing video games and hanging out wherever there’s great food. You’re far more willing to try something new just because you think it’ll be fun.
  7. Guys understand you better. While the girly girl stands out more, guys see a tomboy and breathe a sigh of relief. They know you’re feminine, but they also know you’re easier to relate to. Guys value conversation and they think it’s hot when you’re easier to talk to.
  8. You’re comfortable in your own skin. You’re not trying to hide anything or be anything you’re not. You’re comfortable being you. Odds are, girly girls make fun of you sometimes, but you don’t care. You’re comfortable and confident and that’s always a sexy combination.
  9. You’re feminine without all the work. Society makes us think that you have to be super sexy and girly all the time to be feminine. If you step out in loose jeans and a baggy t-shirt, you must be more masculine. Wrong! You’re feminine and attractive without having to spend hours trying to be what you think society says you should be.
  10. Jeans and a tee are hot. Guys love a short skirt or a tight dress. They also think a simple tee with a pair of jeans is hot. It just screams confident and fun. You look more approachable without seeming like you’re just at the bar looking for a hookup.
  11. You’re not a diva. Girly girls kind of have a bad reputation for being divas. They want to look perfect and can’t stand getting dirty. They love having things their way. Tomboys have their moments, but overall, they’re more about just having fun and living life to the fullest.
  12. It’s okay if your hair gets messed up. As a general rule, guys know not to touch a woman’s hair. They know it’ll just lead to them being yelled at and then spending an hour waiting while she fixes it. You don’t care if your hair gets a little messed up. All you have to do is run a brush through it and maybe pull it up in a ponytail. No harm, no foul.
  13. You have easier access to guys. It’s kind of like guys who make fun of male cheerleaders. They don’t realize it’s a great way to meet girls. As a tomboy, it’s easier to hang out with guys. While girly girls are trying to figure out how to infiltrate a group of guys, you’re already friends with all of them and are probably dating one of them.
Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.