If your coworker has a wilder social life than a Kardashian or your partner’s excuses for what they get up to when they’re not with you seem a little suspect, chances are something isn’t quite right. Not only are they likely exaggerating many of their crazy stories, they might be downright lying about them. Keep an eye out for the signs you’re dealing with a pathological liar so you can avoid getting sucked into their BS.
1. Their stories are a little too good to be true.
They’re the star of every story, always overcoming crazy odds or having wild coincidences work in their favor. If their tales consistently sound like movie scripts, they probably are. They might embellish their job title or brag about connections with people you’d likely know of. If it seems too far-fetched, trust your gut.
2. They constantly contradict themselves.
Pathological liars have trouble keeping their stories straight. They’ll change details frequently, and when you confront them about it, they act like you’re the one misremembering. It’s one thing to forget small things, but they’ll deny major pieces of a story they told you, acting offended that you’d even question them.
3. It’s always someone else’s fault.
They take zero responsibility for their actions in any way. Bad things happen to them, and they constantly paint themselves as the victim. True misfortune happens, but it’s the chronic blame-shifting that’s suspicious. Notice how they’re never the reason for their problems, it’s always an external force out to get them.
4. They get overly defensive.
A simple question throws them into a tailspin. Innocent people might be surprised or confused, but pathological liars get aggressively defensive and try to twist the question back on you. If asking about their weekend sets them off, something’s fishy. What exactly are they hiding?
5. They give really evasive answers.
Direct questions you ask are usually met with vague rambling. They’ll try to exhaust you with word salad instead of giving a clear answer. If they start flattering you out of nowhere, they’re definitely deflecting. It’s designed to make you feel guilty for even questioning them in the first place.
6. They overshare in weird ways.
Suddenly they’ll reveal deeply personal things, often at inappropriate times or in mixed company. It’s a ploy to build false intimacy, or make you so uncomfortable that you change the subject. If a coworker dramatically details their medical issues a week after you meet, that’s not normal bonding behavior.
7. They love being the hero.
Their stories always portray them as either the victim (as previously mentioned) or the superhero who courageously stepped in and saved the day. Even the most minor thing they do to help someone else is somehow a monumental showcase of their brawn and bravery. They want your admiration, so they play to your emotions to get a specific reaction.
8. They love bomb you.
Giving excessive praise and affection early on is a manipulation tactic — love bombing is a calculated move, believe that. They want to hook you in quickly before you start to catch on to their lies. Be wary of someone who declares you their soulmate or showers you with over-the-top compliments before they really even know you. If it feels off, it probably is.
9. They mirror you.
They subtly copy your mannerisms, interests, and speech patterns to make it seem like they’re super connected to you and make you feel understood. If they suddenly become obsessed with your hobbies, or start dressing like you, it could be a red flag.
10. They love a good gossip session.
They’re always stirring up drama and gossiping about people, even their own friends. The worst part is, a lot of what they say is pure lies! They’re obsessed with power and love making people fight each other. If they’re talking trash to you, guaranteed they’re doing it about you too. And they never have anything really positive to say about anyone.
11. You have a bad gut feeling about them.
Something just feels off when you’re around them. It’s hard to explain, but deep down, you don’t believe a word they say. Trust your instincts because they’re usually right! If your interactions always leave you with a vague sense of unease, pay attention to that feeling.
12. They really can’t handle criticism.
Even constructive feedback makes them lose their cool because they see any critique as a personal attack. If they overreact to a minor suggestion, it points to an extremely fragile ego that relies on a carefully curated false image. They can’t handle any threat to their fabricated persona, no matter how minor it might seem to you.
13. They use gaslighting when you’re onto them.
Pathological liars will mess with your head. They’ll deny stuff they said, make you think you’re misremembering things – all to make you feel crazy and give them the upper hand. If you find yourself second-guessing everything that happened, watch out! They’re playing dirty and lying shamelessly.
14. They play the saint.
Pathological liars love to brag about how honest and trustworthy they are nonstop. It’s like they’re trying to convince everyone before anyone even asks. Real honest people just act that way; they don’t need to shout it from the rooftops. Someone who’s always going on about their good character probably has something to hide.
15. They don’t seem to have any real friends.
They might have people around them for a bit, but long-lasting friendships are hard when you’re not being your true self. Listen to how they talk about old friends. If they make everyone else out to be the villain, it might be a sign that they’re the difficult one to be close to.
16. They change the subject a lot.
If something makes them squirm, they shut it down quick – change the subject, distract you, anything to get out of the hot seat. You can almost see the wheels turning when they think you’re getting too close to the truth. They’re pros at twisting things around. If they always dodge tough subjects or act flustered when you dig deeper, there’s probably a reason.
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