If He Doesn’t Add To Your Life, You Shouldn’t Be With Him

You’re an amazing woman with so much going for you — you’re smart, ambitious, you have great friends and family and you’re building an amazing career — so while adding a great guy to the picture would be a welcome bonus, it’s certainly not a necessity. The fact of the matter is that he needs to be pretty special to keep up with you. After all, if he doesn’t add your life, he doesn’t belong in it — here’s why:

  1. You’re already happy. Sure, you get frustrated by dating like any other single woman, but at the end of the day, you’re happy. You’re comfortable in your own skin, you love your career, you have your BFFs by your side. You don’t need to sacrifice that happiness for anyone, especially not a guy.
  2. You don’t need a guy. You’re older and wiser and way past the stage of needing a BF to feel cool or normal. You know that you don’t need a guy, no matter how much you might want one sometimes. You’re not going to commit to someone unless they’ve proven that they’re worth it. You’re doing just fine on your own.
  3. You’ve dated just to date and you’re over it. There was a time when you would accept every second date and even hang out with a guy for months longer than you knew that you should. You wanted to date for the sake of it. You felt like you were one step closer to finding love, but unfortunately, that never seemed to happen. That’s because you were dating just to date and that’s never a good idea. You don’t do that anymore and you’re so much better off.
  4. You’re actually looking for love. When you honestly and truly want to find a partner in life rather than just a casual hook-up, that changes things. A lot. You’re no longer okay with someone who’s mediocre or decent enough. You want the real deal and that means holding out until you know that you feel something.
  5. You refuse to settle. When you realize that it’s not a good idea to bring someone into your life unless there’s a good reason, you’re totally against settling, as you should be. You’ve watched so many people settle for partners that are really not right for them. They don’t want to change things or go through the hassle of breaking up. You don’t have that problem, thankfully. You can walk away when someone is all wrong, and you’re pretty awesome.
  6. You’re not afraid of being alone. You would never date a guy just so you didn’t have to be single. You’re totally cool with being on your own. Sometimes you’re so busy living your amazing life that you don’t even think about it, and that’s a really great place to be in.
  7. You want the best for yourself. When you treat yourself as a prize that needs to be won by the right person, then you would never date someone that makes your life worse or who doesn’t contribute much of anything at all. You know your value and you respect yourself. That’s going to steer you in the right direction.
  8. You’ve seen what happens when you accept less than you deserve. You’ve watched way too many of your best friends get dragged down by guys that pretty much ruined their lives. They spend hours obsessing, worrying, and wondering if they did anything wrong. You hate seeing this because you know that your friends should just tell the guys to take a hike already, and you’ve vowed you would never be that way.
  9. You have goals. When you’re on a certain path, you won’t deal with anyone or anything that stands in your way. That means that no guy can be a fun distraction or roadblock, no matter how cute or charming he is. You want love and that means not being sidelined.
  10. You’re patient. Sure, people might tell you to quit being so picky or that you shouldn’t reject so many guys. You know the truth. You’re patient and you know who is worth waiting for. And until a guy can add something awesome to your already awesome life, you’re just going to keep waiting.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.