Your iPhone Addiction Has Changed Dating — And Not Necessarily For The Better

Your iPhone Addiction Has Changed Dating — And Not Necessarily For The Better ©iStock/martin-dm

If you think you’re not totally and completely obsessed with your iPhone, you’re probably in denial. As much as we swear we’re going to have phone-free dinners and stop checking Instagram after 8 PM every night, we’re hopelessly addicted. If this has changed how we interact with the world around us, it’s definitely changed the dating game. For better or worse, there’s no way to date these days without your phone. Here are 10 ways your iPhone addiction has changed dating. You can decide whether it’s for the best or the worst (but it’s probably both).

  1. You find dates on your phone. This is probably the craziest change that has happened since we all upgraded from those old-school cell phones where all you could do was call or text. If you’re online dating – and since it’s 2015 you probably are – then you’re checking out Ok Cupid’s app. If you’re Tinder dating – and again, that’s a yes – then there’s no way to swipe left or right without your iPhone. And that’s only the chatting stage of the dating game.
  2. You get to know someone through text. Once you actually go out with someone, your pre-relationship becomes a massive texting guessing game. You’ll wonder why your phone is super silent or spend 20 minutes crafting the perfect one-word response. Sometimes, texting can actually help you guys form a bond because you’re staying up late chatting back and forth about your pop culture faves and then that gives you something concrete to talk about on your next date. But that can be wishful thinking when texting is usually such a battlefield.
  3. You engage in text-only relationships. Sometimes an almost relationship means all you do is text without ever meeting in person. Other times, you go on actual physical dates with the guy but the majority of your interaction takes place through your iPhones. It’s kind of nuts when you think about it. It definitely makes you wish the good old days when someone would pick up the phone and call you to make a dinner date.
  4. You judge someone if they don’t own an iPhone. Sad but true (or maybe not that sad – the iPhone is a pretty spectacular object). If I’m texting someone pre-date to confirm/make the plan/chat a bit and they clearly have some kind of old-school cell phone situation going on, it’s always a bit surprising. It’s definitely tricky not to judge someone who doesn’t have an iPhone, even though that’s totally unfair.
  5. Your phone is your first date safety net. If you’re having an awful time, you excuse yourself after 30 minutes and head to the bathroom where you text your BFF that you’re totally bored. Or you glance at your phone, pretend you just got a super important work email and head out of there. Or the date is actually going well and the guy excuses himself for a bathroom break and you text your friend the good news or check your Twitter feed. It’s impossible to remember what it was like going on a first date without the comfort of your phone.
  6. Deleting your apps is the new going steady. Congrats! You finally found your modern, feminist, totally cool version of Prince Charming. Now it’s time to perform the 2015 ritual of getting rid of all of your dating apps. Feels good, right?
  7. You both want and dread a phone call. When you’re tired of the texting Olympics, you long for days long gone when couples talked on the phone. But if the number of your crush or the guy you’d been seeing for a few weeks lit up your iPhone, you would freak out. Admit it, you know you would. What would you say? Should you even answer? Should you pretend to be busy? What does he even want? Oh no, he probably wants to cancel your date, right? It’s a lot.
  8. Your iPhone helps you end things easily. When it comes to the ups and downs of love, your iPhone should have nothing to do with it. And yet we send a break-up text or, worse, change our relationship status on Facebook before even telling the other person it’s over. That last one is pretty brutal but we seem to have collectively decided that we’re okay with using our phones to make relationship-ending decisions.
  9. You’re too afraid to face things in person. Want to tell someone you’re really into them and want to commit? How about saying it to their face instead of sending a text? Sounds nuts, but many of us have gotten into the habit of hiding behind our iPhones instead of talking in person like typical people. That’s why many couples end up hashing things out or even fighting over their phones instead of in front of each other. Definitely a bad technology-related development.
  10. Your iPhone helps you move on. Another bad first date? Another cancellation? Another guy talking your ear off without asking you a single question? It’s going to be okay. You have your iPhone and it will help you find another (hopefully better) date. Maybe even for tonight.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.