If He Doesn’t Care About Your Feelings, Why Do You Care About His?

In a healthy relationship, you get as much as you give. There’s a mutual level of understanding and care there, and you feel loved and supported all the time. If that’s not happening, you need to walk away. After all, if you’re dating a guy who doesn’t seem to care about your feelings, why do you care about his?

  1. Never fight for a man who’s not willing to fight for you. If you do that, you’re just fighting a losing battle. In a relationship, you’re partners and you have to work together, but if he’s not fighting for you then he’s working against you and you’ll never survive. You have to both care about each other, your feelings, and what you have. You deserve a man who fights to have you in his life, not one who couldn’t care less either way.
  2. If he’s not boyfriend material, don’t bother trying to change him. As much as you might want to try, a man will never change just because you want him to. People only change and grow if they want to, not because you’re forcing them to do so. Don’t go for the rough draft kind of guy who needs some serious good guy lessons—go for the man who deserves your love because he’s already a finished project who’s ready to care about you and have a real relationship.
  3. Love should be a two-way street. If you’re stuck in unrequited love, you’ll never be satisfied. The only way this relationship will end is in your own heartbreak. You might think he loves you—he might even tell you so—but if his actions have made it clear that he doesn’t care about your feelings in the slightest then his words are empty. If you’re considerate and you don’t get the same care in return, his love isn’t real.
  4. You shouldn’t have to ask a man to simply care. You deserve so much better than to have to beg for a man’s love. Why do you care so much for a man who doesn’t even treat you right? What are you getting out of this relationship and why don’t you know you’re better off alone? If he doesn’t care about you, don’t waste another second thinking about him.
  5. You can’t be the only person in the relationship making an effort. You can’t live your life giving everything and getting nothing in return. You’re just going to burn yourself out. He’ll keep taking you for granted and the longer you let him, the more you’ll stop caring about yourself too. Being the only person making an effort is exhausting but the worst part is it’s going to eat away at your self-esteem too.
  6. If he doesn’t care now, he never will. If he even cared about you as a person, he’d care about your feelings but he doesn’t. So what does that tell you? Why are you staying with a man who doesn’t give a damn about you? He doesn’t care about you as a human being let alone a woman he’s supposed to be in love with, so stop expecting him time to change him because the truth is no amount of time ever will.
  7. Plenty of men will care. So don’t waste time on the ones who don’t. If you think this is simply what all men are like, you couldn’t be more wrong. When men are actually interested in you, they actually give a damn. You’re an amazing girl, but you have to have the confidence to realize you deserve a man who actually cares. The more you let a man walk all over your feelings, the more time you’ll end up wasting on just another Mr. Wrong.
  8. You matter just as much as any man. Especially the man you choose to spend your life with. So don’t settle for a man who sees you as anything less than an equal. A man should make your feelings feel validated. If he makes you ashamed to have feelings or clearly shows he doesn’t give a damn about how you feel, he’s not worth another second of your time. You need to look for a man who thinks of you as a partner, not a subordinate.
  9. Love shouldn’t be full of pain. Why would you put yourself through the pain of caring for a man who doesn’t give a damn about you? Staying in a relationship like that will only ever bring you pain. The less he cares, the more you’ll feel like you’re just not good enough. Instead of putting all your love into him, choose to love yourself and walk away from the man who couldn’t bother to give a damn.
  10. If he doesn’t care about your feelings, he’s going to hurt you. Why? It’s pretty clear he doesn’t care about you at all, so why would you expect him to look out for your heart? The reality is he doesn’t care what happens to you. He doesn’t give a damn about how his actions affect you. You’re not someone special to him, so at the end of the day, if you don’t matter to him, why does he still matter to you?

Signs he doesn’t care about your feelings

  1. He never takes responsibility for his actions. Everyone makes mistakes, but not everyone can own up to them. If he can’t admit when he’s messed up and apologize for it genuinely, it’s clear that he doesn’t care about your feelings or your relationship as a whole. It’s unfair and really not okay.
  2. He purposely does things he knows will upset you. If this isn’t a blazing red flag, I don’t know what is. He couldn’t possibly care about you if he’s happy to do things that he knows will upset you without hesitation. When you’re in a relationship with someone, you want them to be happy and you would never want to purposely hurt them.
  3. He openly flirts with other women in front of you. How rude is this? He might claim he only wants to be with you (when he’s trying to get laid, that is), but when you’re out together, he has no qualms about chatting up other women right in front of your face. Then, when you try to call him out on it, he tells you to “lighten up” and accuses you of being too clingy and controlling. Ugh.
  4. He makes little effort to make you feel special. When you care about someone, you go out of your way sometimes to offer up little gestures that make them feel loved and special. If he’s not doing this, he doesn’t care about you. Otherwise, he would never take you for granted. He’d want to let you know how lucky he feels to be with you.
  5. He leaves you on read for hours or even days. Everyone is stuck to their phone 24/7, so there’s literally zero excuse, bar a natural disaster or a death in the family, for ignoring you. He clearly doesn’t care if you’re sitting around worried about him or wondering what he’s up to. He’s selfish as hell.
  6. He never remembers important dates, like your birthday. When you’re dating someone, there surely comes a point at which certain details are lodged into your memory, like your partner’s birthday or your anniversary as a couple. If these dates elude him, it’s not because he’s “bad at remembering stuff” but because he doesn’t care about you. It really is that simple.
  7. He expects you to do everything for him but he does nothing for you. He’s all about receiving girlfriend benefits but he’s not willing to do anything to earn them, nor does he care about offering you the same considerations in return. He’s a taker, not a giver, and he needs to go.
  8. He’s always “too busy” to talk or hang out. Whether or not someone has a hectic schedule doesn’t matter if they actually like you. When you’re into someone, you make time for them. Even if you can only chat for a little while, they’ll still make it a point to let you know they’re thinking of you. If he’s not, he doesn’t care.
  9. Sex is all about him and never about you. This one speaks volumes. A guy who doesn’t care about your pleasure doesn’t care about you. It’s 2022 and no one has time for bad sex. Boot him.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.