Why I Don’t Talk About My Relationship To Anyone — Not Even My Best Friend

I’m a pretty private person in general; I don’t let many people in and I keep my friend group small. But when it comes to my relationship, it’s even more than that — I don’t like to talk to anyone about matters that concern me and my boyfriend, not even my closest friends — here’s why.

  1. I don’t want my relationship to be hot gossip. If I tell one person about what’s going on in my relationship, there’s no doubt that more and more people are going to eventually find out. No matter how much I trust someone, I understand that people slip or don’t know what is or isn’t okay to share. Eventually, it probably won’t even be the truth spreading around. Instead of subjecting my relationship to the big mouths of the world, I just keep it to myself.
  2. I don’t want other people’s opinions about my relationship. Even if you talk to someone and just want them to listen, they always end up giving you their opinion anyway. When you hear too many opinions, you start to forget what YOU actually think and feel. It’s important to stay true to what you want, think, and believe, and it’s easiest to do that when you have nobody else shoving their opinions down your throat.
  3. I don’t need people judging my relationship. Or me, my boyfriend or how we decide to live our lives and go about our relationship. When I moved in with my boyfriend, I kept it very quiet because I didn’t need my super-conservative friends judging my decision and making negative assumptions about me or my boyfriend.
  4. Only I can talk crap about my boyfriend. It’s just like how you’re allowed to call your sister a bitch, but if someone else does it, they’re going to get their ass beat — the same goes for my boyfriend. If I want to talk about what a huge douchebag he’s being, that’s fine, but that doesn’t give anyone else the right to talk crap about him too. He may be an a-hole, but he’s MY a-hole.
  5. The more people know, the bigger an issue becomes. Have you ever told your friend about how your boyfriend made a little mistake, and the next thing you know she’s got you convinced he’s the spawn of Satan and you need to dump him immediately? Yes, she cares about you, but talking to other people about small issues almost always makes the issue become bigger than it needs to be.
  6. Ultimately, no one’s going to care as much as me. When it comes to my relationship, I care a lot. No matter how much concern someone shows, my relationship is most important to ME. I’m not going to find someone who can even come close to understanding how I feel about him or what we go through.
  7. People have their own best interests in mind. Last time I told my friend that my boyfriend and I were having problems, I think she was genuinely happy. She started talking about how that’s perfect and now we can plan a trip together and not have to worry about him. Of course, she was just excited to have more time with me, but people are going to suggest you do things in your relationship that ultimately benefit them. That’s not the type of advice you need to be listening to if you want your relationship to last.
  8. My boyfriend needs to be my go-to. If there is a problem in my relationship or even something that’s good and I enjoy, my boyfriend needs to be the first to know about it. It’s important to be able to communicate with each other and not let other people get in the way of having a healthy relationship.
  9. I just don’t feel the need. I love my boyfriend, don’t get me wrong, but he’s not my entire identity. I have my own life outside of our relationship, so I have plenty of other things to talk about. That’s not to say I never mention my boyfriend because I do. It’s just that the nitty-gritty stays between us, where it should be.
Mattie Gold is a lifestyle, health, and fitness freelance writer with a passion for making people laugh and understand their life better through her work. She is also passionate about chocolate. And taking long walks on a breezy day. And working out because being healthy is pretty cool.