Has He Lost Interest? 10 Signs He’s Not Feeling It Anymore

Whether you’re in a full-fledged partnership or just an almost relationship, nothing puts a pit in your stomach quite like the feeling that the guy that you’re into has suddenly stopped reciprocating those feelings. Sometimes you can’t pinpoint exactly what’s giving you the nagging feeling that he’s lost interest, though. If you’re not sure if your paranoia is justified, take a look at these signs that this dude is planning his exit strategy.

1. You’re the one initiating everything.

If you aren’t the one to message him, you guys don’t talk. If you aren’t the one to suggest getting together, you guys don’t hang out. When a guy is interested, he WANTS to spend time with you, and he’ll initiate things at least fifty percent of the time. When he’s not, well, you’re going to have to be the one to make things happen if you ever want to interact with him.

2. He never makes definitive plans with you.

Your suggestions for getting lunch are met with “Yeah, maybe sometime this week,” or “I’ll let you know.” If a guy doesn’t want to lose you, he’s going to make sure there’s a set date and time for you guys to get together. If he doesn’t care one way or the other, he’s not going to move his busy schedule around just to fit you in it.

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4. He lets conversations trail off.

When you’re texting, you get a lot of “oh cools” and “hahas”, then the conversation comes to a grinding halt unless you decide to be the one to keep things going. He just doesn’t seem like he actively wants to keep talking to you. As much as that sucks, it’s one of the biggest signs that it might be time for you to start exiting whatever you have going on with him.

5. He stops talking about the future.

Before, he was making plans with you for next week, next month, and maybe even next year. But these days, he seems to avoid all that. The reason? Well, he’s not exactly anticipating that you’ll be in his future, and he’s trying consciously or unconsciously to get you to stop thinking about a future with him, too. He’s lost interest, it’s as simple as that.

6. He’s always on his phone when you’re together.

There was a time when he couldn’t take his eyes off you, but now when you’re together, he seems to be a lot more focused on his Instagram feed… or maybe even his conversation with another girl. Some people are simply more distracted than others, but if you feel like you’re constantly competing with his TikTok friends for his attention, that’s a sign that your time together is limited.

7. He seems like he’s trying to make you hate him.

He picks fights over stupid stuff, he starts doing all the stuff that annoys you, and he seems to be making a conscious effort to become the boy of your nightmares instead of the man of your dreams. Quite simply, he wants things to end, but he doesn’t want to be the one to cut things off. Instead, his goal is to get on your nerves enough that YOU end up being the one who calls it quits.

8. His compliments die down.

Once upon a time, you were “beautiful,” “radiant,” and “perfect.” Now, the only way you get a compliment from him is if you spend hours on your hair and makeup or give a good performance in the bedroom. For whatever reason, he’s just not as nuts about you as he used to be, and his choice in words reflects that.

9. He stops asking about your life.

He no longer seems to care what you did today or how your brother is doing. If you’re going through a major life event, he might try to stay updated on it, but he’s no longer the man who cared about all the little things.

10. He’s more conservative with physical affection.

His kisses and hand-holding have become a lot more sparse, especially when you guys are in public. It’s not just because he’s not into touching you anymore — it’s probably his way of easing out of things with you so it hurts less for both of you when it inevitably ends.

11. Your gut is telling you it’s true.

Have you ever been in one of those situations where everything seems fine on paper, but you can just tell something is off? Maybe it’s something subtle like his tone of voice when he talks to you, or maybe it’s something you can’t put your finger on at all. Still, something deep inside you is setting off warning bells and letting you know that the end is near. Sometimes, this sensation is caused by anxiety even when nothing is wrong at all, but put your guard up if something strange is telling you that he’s on his way out.

Averi is a word nerd and Brazilian jiu jitsu brown belt. She's also a TEFL/TESOL-certified ESL teacher and an equine enthusiast. Originally from Pennsylvania, she lived in Costa Rica for a while before moving to Australia. In addition to her work as a writer and editor for Bolde, she also has bylines with Little Things and regularly writes for Jiu-Jitsu Times.

You can follow Averi on Instagram @bjjaveri or on Twitter under the same handle.