It makes sense to want to protect your heart when you’ve been screwed over in love, but the walls you’ve built to protect yourself have to be torn down if you ever want to find a meaningful relationship. You might think it’s easier to pretend like you don’t give a crap, but putting on a hard face won’t actually keep you from getting hurt.
The more walls you build up, the harder they’ll come crashing down.
You think that closing your heart off will protect it from breaking, but it won’t. Underneath all your armor, you’re sensitive. You’re afraid of vulnerability, but being vulnerable is the only way to have a real relationship. You can hide your true self all you want, but in the end, things won’t work out and it’s going to hurt like hell.
When it comes to love, you can’t fake it ‘til you make it.
Just because you’re pretending you don’t care doesn’t mean you actually don’t. You’re trying to BS your way into happily ever after. Do you really think that’s going to work?
It’s a defense mechanism.
Like most other defense mechanisms, he’s going to see right through this one. So when he finally confronts you on this subject, you’ll either have to lie (and look more self-conscious than ever) or force yourself to be vulnerable (the thing you were avoiding this entire time).
You can’t choose whether or not you get hurt.
Regardless of how hard you try, you’re not in control of this situation. You can’t manipulate your partner into loving you or even treating you right. Just like you can’t control him, you can’t control your feelings and you can’t keep yourself from falling for him. Every relationship is a coin toss and as sad as it is, you just have to keep rolling with the punches until you find the one man who fits.
If you don’t care, then why should he?
If he thinks you don’t give a crap, then why on earth would he waste his time caring about you? It takes two people to have a relationship and you both have to put in an equal effort. If he feels like you’re slacking, then he probably thinks you’re not interested and he’s not going to stick around to see if you change your mind.
You haven’t fully recovered from your last heartbreak.
Obviously, after any serious heartbreak you’re going to be a little more cautious the next time love comes knocking at your door. You’re just being smart about love, but thinking you can just pretend not to care and not get hurt is just plain dumb. If you haven’t healed from your last relationship, then you’ll never be ready for your next one.
If you don’t care, you’ll attract men who don’t care.
Or at least men who only want you when you don’t want them. That’s not a relationship it’s a game, and if you’ve been hurt before, then do you really want to risk your heart on the drama of mind games? No matter what, pretending that you don’t care is never going to attract the kind of man who won’t hurt you.
You’re hiding your true self.
Every man you meet won’t be able to know the real you. What’s the point in that? Don’t you want someone who will love you for exactly who you are? You’re putting out a shelled version of yourself. If true love is your end game, then you’re going to have to be able to let someone in.
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