I Don’t Want To Date You If I Have To Teach You How To Be A Good Boyfriend

I Don’t Want To Date You If I Have To Teach You How To Be A Good Boyfriend ©iStock/Geribody

I’m not a teacher — not at work or at home. You might not have much experience in the boyfriend department, but I won’t grade you on a curve. If you can’t figure out how to be a good boyfriend, I won’t waste my time trying to teach you.

  1. If you love someone, you just treat them right. You just do. You don’t have to have relationship experience to know how to be good to someone. If you really love me, you’ll naturally know how to care for me and how not to hurt me. We all make mistakes, but you don’t have to have a history of serious girlfriends to know how to not take me for granted.
  2. If you really like me, what your boys think won’t matter. If they really love you like I do then they’ll be happy for you. I don’t want to hear excuses about how the guys were razzing you or about how they treat their girls just the same. Their relationships have nothing to do with ours and if you can’t understand that, then you’re too immature for me.
  3. Do I really need to define cheating for you? Don’t ask me if sexting counts and don’t try to classify making out or drunk one-night stands as “not actual cheating.” Whether or not emotions are involved, it’s still cheating. If you wouldn’t want me doing it with another guy, then don’t do it with another girl. It’s pretty damn simple.
  4. Listen to your gut. If you think something you’re doing is wrong, it probably is, so don’t do it. You have a conscience, so use it. Don’t feed me excuses after you already screwed up. You should know right from wrong. That’s something I shouldn’t have to teach you.
  5. Don’t expect anything of me that I can’t expect of you. Don’t be hypocritical with me. If I can’t do something then you can’t do it either. You don’t have ownership over me because you’re the guy. We’re equals here. This relationship is a partnership and it should be fair.
  6. I shouldn’t have to ask for you to make me a priority. If I’m important to you then there should be no question of whether I’m a priority. If you love me, you’ll make time to see me. If you care about me, you’ll put me first. If you want to keep this relationship, you’ll work for it. Easy as pie.
  7. When you’re wrong, just say you’re sorry. Just like any other platonic relationship in your life, when you hurt someone, you apologize — it’s not rocket science. I won’t leave you in the dark. I’ll tell you when I’m hurt or angry, but it’s your job to care.
  8. It’s really not that hard — you just have to give a damn. That’s what being a good boyfriend really boils down to — just caring. As your girlfriend, I should never have to ask for you to actually care about me and this relationship. You can give a damn about everything else in your life, but not me? No excuses.
  9. I’m not going to prep you for some other girl. If I tell you what I want, that’s not going to change our relationship. I shouldn’t have to teach you how to care and if I do, you’ll just end up applying that lesson to someone else. Is that really fair?
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.