I’m A Driven Woman & I Need A Guy Who Is Too

I’m not perfect by any means, but most of the time, I’m one of the most driven people I know. Unfortunately, I’ve dated a few too many guys who didn’t have that same ambition that I do. Thankfully, though, I’ve finally gotten to the point in my life where I now refuse to settle for any man who doesn’t have a strong sense of ambition.

  1. I want someone who shares my drive. A man with ambition is a man who will just get it. He’ll understand working on a deadline or putting in the extra hours to get ahead. A man with ambition understands the concept of hard work, just like I do. If a man doesn’t have it, he’ll never understand my choices and why I feel the need to continue moving forward.
  2. He’ll know how to support me (and vice versa). Sometimes, when the going gets rough, I want my boyfriend to be able to reassure me and remind me why I work as hard as I do. A man with no ambition will tell me to quit or ease up on work and that’s not something I want or need. Additionally, I wouldn’t know how to be a good support system for someone who isn’t ambitious. My answer to most things in life are to just work harder — a concept he wouldn’t understand if his drive didn’t match mine.
  3. I don’t want to apologize for my success. Being an ambitious woman doesn’t come easy. It means late hours, bringing work home, and doing everything I can to make sure I reach my goals. Sometimes that means I do have to sacrifice some of my personal life — a choice I’ve already made. I need someone who shares that and understands why I’m working so hard. I don’t need someone who will make me feel guilty for getting home later than expected or not being able to make happy hour.
  4. I don’t want someone who will quit the second things get hard. A man with no ambition is an immature man who runs as soon as things go wrong. He doesn’t know how to work through things. All relationships have weak patches and trying times — I don’t need a guy who’s too lazy to work through them.
  5. I need someone who’s able to see things long-term. A man with ambition knows that good things take time. He knows what he wants to be doing in five, ten, even twenty years from now. And that means he’s likely already factored in the idea of a significant other. On the other hand, a guy with no ambition doesn’t know what he wants or if that even includes another person. He’ll never be able to look further than a year from now.
  6. I don’t want to support someone financially. Of course, a man with ambition does not instantly equate to someone with dollar signs, but even in a worst-case scenario, he would probably already have a pre-planned solution to his problem. A man with no ambition is more likely to take risky chances with his career or finances, and that’s just not a mess I want to clean up.
  7. I need someone with his own life. A man with ambition won’t think twice when I say I need a girl’s night out or just want some me time, because chances are he’ll want a guy’s night and some time to himself, too. The ideal man is a man with hobbies, interests, friends, and the confidence to be able to do things independently.
  8. He’ll be able to think about things rationally. An ambitious man knows what it takes to see results in the office and at home. He has big dreams and attainable goals. He knows what to do to ensure he achieves them but in a realistic mindset. He realizes he won’t become a CEO overnight, just like he knows a perfect long-term relationship won’t happen within a span of three dates.
  9. He’ll have passion for what he does. Just like I’m passionate about my job and interests, a man with ambition will be able to say the same. And the hottest thing about any guy is when he’s able to talk about something that he loves.
  10. Laziness is just unattractive. In contrast, laziness is just about the most unattractive quality a guy can have. I don’t want to spend time with someone whose greatest desire is to do the least amount of work possible. Life is meant to be lived, not spent on the couch complaining about having to put in work.
  11. I want to be able to be proud of him, just as much as he can be proud of me. I want to be able to be proud of the person I’m dating, and when a man has ambition, I’ll always be able to say I’m proud of his work ethic. It doesn’t matter what his job is or what field he chooses — a man with ambition will always be worth the time and effort a relationship takes.
Emily Ann Gutgold—Emi, for short—is a recent graduate of Penn State University. Her social handle @MiSCONGENiEMiLY stems from her one-time stint as a pageant queen where she was unanimously voted Miss Congeniality by the other contestants. In her free time she enjoys running and eating ice cream, but not at the same time. She currently lives in New York City and works in digital media.