How many times have you gone on a date with someone and immediately ordered a drink or maybe three before the other person even arrives? Many of us use alcohol as a social lubricant, relying on it to loosen us up and make us feel less nervous. However, there’s something to be said for going it sober. That’s where dry dating comes in, and it’s one trend that’s gaining popularity that we should be grateful for.
What is dry dating?
Simply put, it’s dating and having sex without alcohol affecting your sobriety. Whether it’s going out on a first date with someone new or sleeping with someone you’ve been dating for a bit for the first time, dry dating means forgoing liquid courage and braving it as plain old you.
For many people, the very idea of not drinking through these experiences is enough to cause major anxiety. However, dry dating is becoming more and more appealing, especially in the aftermath of the Covid-19 pandemic. According to a 2022 trends survey by Bumble (as reported by BBC Worklife), 34% of users in the UK said they were way more likely to try dry dating now than they were pre-pandemic. Of those people, 62% said they believed they could “form a more genuine connection” on a date that didn’t include alcohol, while 54% said the practice allowed for more “mindful and intentional “dating. As far back as May 2020, Plenty of Fish revealed that of 2,000 single dults, 83% said they were “open” to trying dry dating.
Why is dry dating gaining traction?
- It opens up dating to all new possibilities. It used to be that going out for drinks was the default first date idea. It hit two birds with one stone, allowing both people to get enough of a buzz to chill out as well as being an easy option since most towns and cities have plenty of bars and pubs to choose from. Dry dating kicks the narrow doors wide open, allowing for way more creative and fun dating ideas. People are now choosing to hit up amusement parks, go paintballing, and all kinds of other activities that are not only alcohol-free but allow for way more fun and bonding opportunities.
- It’s better for your health. It goes without saying that alcohol, especially in excess, is not great for your health. According to the CDC, possible effects include high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke, liver disease, cancer, learning and memory problems, and a weakened immune system, just to name a few. It would seem that less alcohol = a longer, happier, healthier life. Gen Z seems to have embraced this wholeheartedly, with a 2018 report from Berenberg Research finding that Gen Z is actually drinking 20% less than millennials were at the same age. It’s a refreshing change that can only be a good thing.
- It forces you to confront your anxieties. Dry dating is so scary to many people because it means going it alone, so to speak. You don’t have alcohol to numb your anxieties and instead, you have to face them head-on. Why is this a bad thing? Using alcohol as a salve only glosses over the issue rather than solving it. “I used to have at least a glass or two of wine before I even met up with the guy,” Shannon K., 26, tells Bolde. “When I got to the bar or restaurant, I’d order another one right away because I knew if I didn’t, I’d sober up and be a nervous wreck.” That was pretty much the norm for her, and while it worked during the date, it never helped her anxiety go away for good.When you decide to try dry dating, you have the opportunity to really assess what it is that’s causing your nervousness and distress and then think logically about whether those fears are founded. Even if they are, what’s the worst that could happen? If a date doesn’t work, the next one might. The bigger part of your dating life dry dating becomes, the easier it will be to work through those issues until they no longer exist.
- You make better decisions. One of the biggest draws of dry dating is the ability to figure out whether or not your date is right for you. When you’re under the influence of alcohol, it’s much harder to really figure out whether you have chemistry with another person or whether you’re well-suited to each other. That’s why dry dating is so great. You can approach your dates from a place of mindfulness rather than through beer goggles, meaning less wasted time and much more meaningful connections in situations where there’s real potential.
- The old way isn’t working all that well. Everyone thinks they need to get a little buzzed to get through a first date and enjoy themselves, but how often is that working out? The commonly held belief that alcohol is a must when going out with someone new hasn’t really yielded any stronger, happier, or healthier relationships. The dating scene is in the worst place it’s been in for decades, so why not try something new? Dry dating just might be the change that’s needed.
- People are getting used to it. During the pandemic, bars and restaurants were closed, meaning if you wanted to do something with someone, you were pretty limited for activities. Many (potential) couples would simply have to settle for going for a walk outside, and it became not only easy to imagine hanging out with a potential romantic partner without booze, many found it preferable. Now that the bars are open again, some are finding it less alluring to go back to the status quo.As Maddie R., 28, tells Bolde, alcohol doesn’t even come to mind anymore when planning a date with someone. “I feel so much more positive and less depressed about my dating life now that I’m not drunk through half of it,” she admits. “I mean, it still sucks sometimes, but my overall experiences have been so much better that I can’t really imagine adding alcohol back into the mix.” It seems like she’s not alone, either. Hopefully this is one of those dating trends that will be around for a long time to come.
