He Dumped Me And Now He Wants Me Back — Too Late

Hindsight is a funny thing. Now that I’ve left my crappy ex behind, I’ve become the very kind of woman he wanted me to be all those years. Naturally he now wants me back, but he just doesn’t get that this version of me isn’t possible with him in my life. Sorry buddy, you’re just too late.

  1. I was never good enough for him. He can claim until he’s blue in the face that he now knows I’m what he wants, but the years we were together, he couldn’t stop telling me all the ways in which I wasn’t. He was so condescending, so critical and so demanding that no matter how much he now says otherwise, I know I would always feel unworthy.
  2. Turns out, I’m a freaking catch. I felt pretty crappy about myself in the years we were together, but now that I’m rid of his toxic ass, I’ve come to find that I’m pretty damn amazing. It’s not my fault he couldn’t see what was right in front of him. He thinks he can come crawling back now that I’m living my best life, but the problem is, he just isn’t a part of this new and improved me.
  3. Newsflash: it’s not all about looks. I’m not sure why he thinks a sure-fire way to get me back is to send me cryptic messages about how good I’m looking these days. First of all, it seems like he’s implying I didn’t look good before, which isn’t exactly comforting. Second, he’s acting as if his approval of my physical appearance undoes all the crap he put me through. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled he thinks I’m hot, but a) I’m not a piece of meat and b) I’m not his to gawk at. Bye!
  4. Turns out, there’s a world outside our hometown. My future with him involved never leaving our tiny little town where everyone knew everyone’s business and going to the mall was the cool thing to do on weekends. Now that I’m on my own, I’m able to explore other parts of the country and discover that there are a ton of places worth trying out. I’ll always love home, but I don’t want to live there for the rest of my life. Figures he’s now decided he wants to leave town too, but it’s not my fault he didn’t realize that when I was begging him to move and he wouldn’t consider it.
  5. Happiness is a state of mind that doesn’t involve him. He keeps saying that he wants me to take this happy me and bring it back into a life with him. What he doesn’t seem to understand is that happy me can’t exist in a relationship with him. He sucked the happy and the sanity right out of me, and just because I’m doing great on my own now doesn’t mean I want to share that with him.
  6. Confidence looks good on me. One of the problems during our relationship was my self-consciousness and never feeling deserving of his love. He used to say it made it impossible to be with me. Now that I’ve embraced my awesomeness, of course he’s pining for me to give him another shot. Here’s the thing: I’ve realized now that I was self-conscious when I was with him BECAUSE I was with him. Berating, minimizing and judging a girl can do that. Shocker.
  7. I sing in the shower again. Actually, I sing everywhere, from the car to the kitchen to my cubicle at work. Everything is simpler without him around to steal my sunshine. He loves to tell me how content I look in my Instagram pics and it’s like dude, of course I’m at peace, you’re not in my life! Thanks for the compliment, but it won’t get you anywhere.
  8. He wants what everyone else can now have. When we were together, Mr. Jealous couldn’t stand the thought of another guy speaking to me, let along taking me on a date. Now that I’m single and mingling with my city’s finest, it drives him absolutely nuts. When he had me, he couldn’t care less, but now that I’m a hot ticket and desired by other men, he’s going absolutely insane. He had his chance but he wasted it.
  9. I’ve become great at making decisions. When we dated, I was incapable of making plans. We would fight over where to go and what to do because I couldn’t be creative. Being single has taught me how to go seek things to do and people to see, and now I’m an expert at stacking my weekend with awesome adventures. He’s totally envious seeing what I’m up to without him, but that’s not my problem.
  10. He knows it’s all his fault. He can waste his energy blaming everyone and everything, but at the end of the day, our failed relationship lies squarely on his shoulders. He spent years convincing himself that he wasn’t happy enough and eventually, it was true. Now he says I’m all he wants, but the truth is that we’ll never know. Unfortunately for him, he’s lost his chance.
We only have one chance to live this life and I'm making the most of it. I'll make plenty of mistakes along the way but each one will send me further down the right path.