“Duty Dating” Is A Thing And You Need To Start Doing It ASAP

If you’re feeling trapped in singledom, you NEED to try duty dating. That means going on dates with any guy that asks, no matter who he is and whether or not you think you’re actually into him. Say yes anyway and get out there—you’ll be glad you did when the right one finally comes along.

  1. Seriously, say yes to everyone. It doesn’t matter what he looks like, how old he is, or what he does for a living. If he asks you out, you have to say yes. Don’t get it twisted, though—this isn’t about settling or even about finding the perfect guy. It’s really about boosting your confidence and figuring out what you truly want.
  2. You need to fill up your calendar with as many dates as possible. In order to get the most out of duty dating, you should be actively trying to fill up your social calendar with as many dates as you can handle. Go every night if you can! Dating will now be your main source of social entertainment.
  3. You don’t have to take it seriously—in fact, you probably shouldn’t. Duty dating is a way for a woman who’s been single for a long time to “get back out there,” sure, but it’s hard to do that when you’ve spent so long on your own. The best way to counteract the awkwardness you’re feeling about getting back out into the dating field is to see duty dating as practice. You aren’t expecting it to go anywhere; if anything, you’re hoping it won’t go anywhere. What you’ll find is that the more practice dates you go on, the less nervous you’ll be about dating in general.
  4. Use apps to your advantage. Dating apps have made duty dating extremely easy. Just say yes to the first few guys who ask you to meet up for drinks or dinner and you’re set for the week. You’ll have to deal with flaky dudes here and there, of course, but assuming you’re getting 20+ messages a week, there will always be another guy who’s happy to take you out. Awesome, right?
  5. You should date at least three people at a time. Not only should you schedule as many dates as possible, but you should be dating at least three guys at the same time. You’ll find yourself feeling and acting more confident and won’t get so upset when one of the dates doesn’t work out because in the back of your mind, you know you’ll get another chance with someone else tomorrow.
  6. Give each person at least three chances. Even if the date goes horribly wrong and you really don’t want to see the guy again, give him two more chances. Everyone is human and a lot of people get first date jitters. A really awesome part of his personality could be hiding behind nervousness, so give him a chance to let his true personality shine through.
  7. Remember: you’re playing the numbers game. Dating has turned into a numbers game and if you’re not playing it, you’re not serious about getting into a relationship. When you duty date, you’re going on as many dates as you can possibly handle. You’re putting your judgmental side to bed and giving every guy who approaches or messages you an equal chance. Who knows what your millions of dates will eventually lead to? Chances are, one of them is gonna stick!
  8. Accept that it’s going to get boring at times. It’ll feel exciting at first, but after a while, it’s going to feel more like an actual duty (pun totally intended) than something fun to do. It’ll almost feel like work, but just know that the deeper you get into it, the better you’ll get at dating.
  9. It’ll have a profound effect on your future love life. A huge reason you should be duty dating right now is because it gives you a sense of fulfillment in your life, especially your love life. Even if the dates are going nowhere, at least you’re getting out there and giving it a shot. That way, when a really awesome guy asks you out, you can actually feel like you’ve got a bunch of other dates in the works and not put all of your attention on him.
  10. It’s good for people who have avoidant personalities. Maybe you’d rather spend your evenings alone, doing whatever you want than waste a night with a guy that you know isn’t right for you. That’s fair enough, but duty dating forces you to blast past those feelings of doubt and judgment and follow through with the date. It’s just one date—you don’t have to marry the guy, just give him an hour or two of your time. You never know what might come of it.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.