I Expect My Boyfriend To Text Me Daily — And No, That’s Not Clingy

When I’m in a relationship, I want my boyfriend to text me every day. It might seem like a lot, but it’s actually pretty normal in my opinion. Here are 14 reasons why it’s a must that I hear from him at least every 24 hours:

  1. I need to know he’s interested in more than the chase. It’s common for guys to text loads in the beginning of a relationship, but why should that change once it’s been established that the relationship is committed and exclusive? It’s lazy AF when guys start to whittle down their texts to one-word answers or boring messages every few days. I need more than that. I need a guy who’s into me even after he’s got me where he wants me.
  2. It shows me he wants to talk to me. If the guy I’m dating makes an effort to text me daily, it shows that he’s really eager to talk to me. Communication is so important for a relationship to work, so his willingness to text is a really good sign that he likes me and we have something promising on the cards.
  3. It shows me he misses me. We might not be able to see each other every day, but that’s why texting is so important. It shows me he misses me and wants to reach out to talk to me when he can. That’s important, otherwise, it would mean that he’s just fine without me in his life.
  4. I want to be a part of his daily life. If we’re in a committed relationship, it requires daily effort. I don’t want to be his weekend girlfriend, but a part of his daily life even when he’s stressed out, busy, or irritable. If he’s not texting me, I don’t feel like I’m that important to him because he’s keeping me out of the loop.
  5. It shows he has fun with me. I want to feel that he’s sending me a text because he can’t wait to have a fun conversation with me and that he feels good after speaking to me. Without that, texting can feel really serious or boring, and it can make a relationship in general feel the same.
  6. I want intimacy. There are different types of intimacy and one of them in my book is textual intimacy. It’s that feeling of real closeness with someone via text and it’s a must for me. I don’t get how we could have intimacy in real life but then be cold or distant with each other via text. Something’s clearly wrong if that’s happening.
  7. I need to feel secure. If a guy’s not texting me every day, I start to feel insecure in the relationship. Not hearing from him for one day can easily become two, three, or more. After a while, it starts to feel like he can go for days without talking to me. This will result in me wondering why he’s not replying to my texts or if he’s not into me anymore. It’s not cool. It’s like he’s not even making a real effort and I won’t stand for it.
  8. It shows me he’s committed. A guy who really loves me will want to talk to me and share things with me. He’ll make an effort to at least drop a text once a day. It might sound like a lot but it’s a really small gesture to show me that he’s committed to me and our relationship. Come on — it takes five seconds to send a message to say that he’s thinking of me but it can make my whole day.
  9. It builds anticipation. If we’re only going to see each other on the weekend, it’s nice to build anticipation for that real-life meeting by texting each other and having interesting conversations. It’s definitely a way to keep the spark alive!
  10. It helps us learn more about each other. Although we might spend lots of time together, texting can be really valuable to help us get to know each other when dating. At times, it’s so much easier to confess something or get really personal from behind a cell phone screen than it is in real life, so texting can be a great way for us to get closer on a daily basis and see that we’re compatible.
  11. It’s less pressure than a call but just as meaningful. I’m not saying the guy has to call me every day for a long conversation, which can be quite expensive and impractical. I’m just saying that a text is a nice halfway point between calling or not talking at all. It shows that he’s there for me and willing to make an effort. It also shows that we can compromise when it comes to our communication differences if, say, he doesn’t like calling. It’s about meeting each other halfway.
  12. It shows we have the same communication style. If the guy I’m with wants to chat to me daily just as much as I do, then it’s a really good sign that we have the same need to communicate. We’re on the same page, which is so important. I don’t want to be with someone who thinks texting is lame or never likes to do it.
  13. It shows he’s not just bored or lonelySome guys only text when they’re bored, lonely or horny on a Saturday night. This is so not the kind of guy I want to date. Texting shouldn’t be something that’s convenient when the guy’s got nothing else going for him and could do with some pleasure. It should be something that’s special in a relationship and not just about sex.
  14. It shows me I’m a priority. He doesn’t have to be glued to his phone, but he should make chatting to me a part of his daily life so that I know I’m special to him. It shows me that no matter what else he has going on, whether it’s a weekend away with the boys or a crazy work week, he always has time for me because I’m number one on his list.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.