Have You Fallen For Your FWB? 19 Signs You’re In Denial About Catching Feelings

Whether because we don’t want to be tied down or we just really like sex, many of us gravitate towards casual relationships that are initiated with zero expectations or assumptions. It’s the perfect steamy scenario void of fighting, drama, or inconvenience — at least that’s what you tell yourself. Here are some signs you may have fallen for your FWB and may need to cut things off.

  1. You insist that “you don’t need to be talking to someone 24/7.” When your friends ask if you’ve heard from your FWB, you confidently tell them no, expecting to come off cool and collected. You’re too busy at work and your social life is booming! You don’t have time to entertain this dude over text anyway. You would rather just “catch up” when you see him in person because it “gives you more to talk about.” But really, deep inside you, a desire for a good morning text burns hotter than the rising sun.
  2. You get offended when he doesn’t answer. The weekend rolls around and it’s the last call at the bar you’re currently a hot mess at. You’re lit AF and your drunk alter ego doesn’t seem to care what comes or goes. You send that reckless “u up” text anticipating that your FWB is also awake and looking for some action. The sound of crickets plays on a loop in the background. You drunk cry in your Uber home and swear you’ll “never text him again.”
  3. You constantly post on Instagram and Snapchat stories. Usually, you don’t give a damn about posting every detail of your life on social media… until your FWB decides to follow you. Like Gatsby throwing parties in hopes that Daisy will attend, you post nonstop in hopes that he’ll watch. Albums you’re listening to and books you’re reading now act as the wallpaper of your social media life. The sad truth? You want to share parts of yourself he’s not able to see when you’re together.
  4. You consistently check to see if he updates his social accounts. Since you’re not speaking on the reg, you frantically update your feeds to see what he’s up to. It’s the only way you’re able to feel like you are somehow a part of his daily life. You’ll tell yourself it’s because you have a few extra minutes but in reality, there are a million other things you could be doing instead of being immersed in your social feeds.
  5. You get anxious around regular booty call time. Fridays and Saturdays from 1:00 a.m. onward operate as the prime hookup time for part-time lovers. Drunk, horny people are sending illegible texts from bars all over the world. There’s probably a surge in every cell phone tower on planet Earth, acting as an unseen Bat Signal translating “it’s going down tonight.” You obviously know this, so you wait anxiously for that text to come through while ordering eight more shots to calm your nerves.
  6. You nearly have a stroke when he does text you. You feel your phone buzz in your pocket and your heart feels as if it just crapped itself. When his name pops up in your messages, you’re practically en route to meet him before you even respond (which you’ll wait to do for another 10 minutes to avoid looking eager).
  7. You try to fit in as much conversation as possible. When you’re with him, you find yourself asking more questions and pushing to know more about him. You probably won’t be aware of it at first until you’re practically giving him the third degree five minutes into doing the dirty. Secretly, you want him to open up to you because you hope he’ll form an attraction that surpasses just being physical.
  8. You try and convince yourself that relationships are too hard. You’ll remind yourself over and over again how your last relationship was a flop and the next one will be no different. You claim that dating is too much work, commitment is a confinement and relationships are unstable at your age anyway. All you’re doing is using your past experiences as an excuse to prevent yourself from coming to terms with how you really feel.
  9. You’re unsure how to act when someone mentions his name. If you have mutual friends, you put on a front when you’re around people you both know. When someone casually brings up their name in conversation, you act detached or disinterested. You contemplate each word that comes out of your mouth so that you don’t seem too engrossed in any topic involving him. This is because you understand what your true emotions are and you don’t want others to catch on.
  10. You have some idea that he’s going to ruin your life but you ignore it. Any well-adjusted person runs in the opposite direction when coming in contact with danger. Except you, apparently. Something draws you to this person despite the fact that you know it may not end well. This glimmer of hope hinders any chance you have of being truly unemotional in this arrangement from the beginning. You subconsciously know the nature of your attraction, but you tell yourself you have enough self-control to catch yourself before it gets too deep. You don’t, and that’s why you’re reading this article.
  11. You miss being around him when you’re not together. I’m sure when you both agreed to have this whole arrangement, you decided that you’d just meet up as and when was convenient for one thing and one thing only. That said, if you actually start to miss being around him when you’re not hooking up, then this is a sign that you might be developing some real AF feelings for him. Uh oh.
  12. You miss talking to him when you’re not together. The concern that you might be developing the feels for him is especially true if you actually miss talking to him when you’re not together. Usually with a FWB arrangement, you text very little when you’re apart unless it’s to plan the next rendezvous. However, if you find yourself wanting to pop him a message to say hi, goodnight, or see how he’s doing, this is a surefire sign that you like him a little more than you’re letting on.
  13. Little things remind you of him. You might be secretly holding out hope that your FWB will get serious with you if he pops into your mind at random times. This could be something silly like thinking of him when you see a penguin stuffed toy when you know his favorite animal is a penguin or being reminded of the time you made each other laugh with your silly dancing when the same song you danced to comes on the radio. Either way, if you’re thinking about him more than you’re not on a daily basis, then I hate to break it to you but you’ve got it bad.
  14. You regularly stalk him on social media. Do you often want to know what he’s up to when he’s not seeing you? Do you find yourself frequently checking out his Facebook page or Snapchat story? Then I’m afraid you like him. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t go out of your way to stay in his business. You’d just get on with your life and his whereabouts wouldn’t affect you in the slightest. True story.
  15. You talk about him a lot to your friends. If your friends are complaining that you talk about your FWB all the time or they’re worried that you’re going to get hurt, listen to them. Your friends know you better than anyone and they’ll probably be able to call out your feelings perhaps before you’ve even noticed them yourself. They’re good like that.
  16. You start thinking about a potential future with him. One of the biggest signs that you’re falling for your FWB is that you often catch yourself daydreaming about a potential future with him. Perhaps you’ve stopped thinking of him as just a sex buddy and now you’re looking at him in a different light? Maybe you’ve even decided that you want him to take you out instead of just going to each other’s condos all the time. Either way, if you start to see a future with him, this means you care about him more than you initially thought. Cute.
  17. You get jealous when he’s seeing other womenAh, jealousy… It tends to creep up on us and show us how we’re really feeling, even if we’re not expecting it—am I right? If your FWB is pretty open with you about dating other girls or you’ve seen that he’s been spending time with someone else through his social media and you don’t like it, ask yourself why. After all, there must be a reason why you’re feeling so possessive over him.
  18. You want to see him more regularly. If you had a once-a-week type of arrangement with your FWB and you suddenly find that you want to change that to three times a week — or, heck, once a day — because you miss him when you’re not together, then this is a big indicator that you’re falling for him faster than rain falls from the sky. After all, we all get horny, but not so horny that we can’t go without it for a good few days.
  19. You’re not interested in getting to know other guys. Finally, if your FWB is the only guy you’ve got your eye on right now and you feel like every other guy in the world can go do one, then this is a strong sign that you’re only here for your FWB and no one else. Whenever there’s an opportunity to hang out with someone else who might be interested in you, you decline. Why? Well, you’re holding out for your FWB, of course, because you’ve fallen for him. Let’s just hope he’s holding out for you too.