If You’re Feeling Down That You’ve Been Single Another Year, Think About This

The end of the year is almost here. It’s the perfect time to take stock of your life and what you’ve achieved as well as figure out where you want to go. But it’s also a time when you might feel like crap because you’ve been single for another year. Yup, you feel one year closer to getting 24 cats. Instead of feeling down, here’s what to bear in mind.

  1. What’s another year, really? In the big scheme of things, a year is nothing. It flies by so fast. Why does it really matter if you’ve been single for another year, or will be for another two years? You’re not in some dating race where you have to find someone to settle down with ASAP.
  2. Think of what you were doing instead. You didn’t have a boyfriend, so what were you doing with your time instead? Focus on these things and write them down so that you can remind yourself of things you enjoyed, loved, and achieved during the year. You weren’t just sitting around waiting for a man. You were living your life!
  3. See your life through your married friends’ eyes. You know your married/taken friends who keep saying that they’re so jealous of your life because you’re single? You might just roll your eyes at them, but see your life through their eyes for once. You’ve got some great things going because you don’t have a man. Don’t take them for granted.
  4. Think about why you didn’t need a man. There were loads of amazing times this year that you really enjoyed and for which you didn’t require a romantic partner. You had a fantastic time then and will again!
  5. Social media is fake AF. At this time of year, it’s common to log onto social media and see couple selfies on the beach or in exotic locations and to see your friends getting engaged. It can make you feel that you’re somehow missing out on having fun, but you’re not. Those people’s lives aren’t perfect, no matter what their Facebook photo albums make you believe.
  6. You have lots of things to be thankful for. Instead of concentrating on what you don’t have—a man, a relationship—think about what you do have. There is so much to be grateful for, down to having a roof over your head and a job that you love. When you focus on all that good stuff, you see that having a relationship isn’t really a big deal after all.
  7. You’ve made amazing connections and friends. You’re surrounded by love. It might not be romantic love, but it’s love. In fact, many connections you made this year might not have happened if you had a boyfriend taking up all your time and attention.
  8. The feeling will pass. It’s normal to feel down during the festive season. There’s pressure to be in love, kiss under the mistletoe, and have an amazing time. But don’t let the season mess with your head. The feeling of being sad will pass and once the holidays are over, life will return to normal. So just go with the flow and ride it out. Wine and chocolate help!
  9. Remember why being single rocks. There are many benefits of being single, and sometimes you have to remind yourself of them. You’ve been able to travel, be super selfish with your time, buy yourself gifts, and do whatever the hell you wanted with your money. These are just some of the freedoms that come with being single. Live them up!
  10. Maybe you’re down about something else. You might think that you’re feeling down about being single, but maybe you’re actually down about something else. Maybe you’re sad that you didn’t achieve your goals or you feel like your life’s not as satisfying as it should be – but it has nothing to do with not having a man. So get down to the bottom of what you’re really feeling and figure out how you can give yourself greater fulfillment in the New Year.
  11. You’re not defined by a relationship. It’s great to be in a relationship, but does it define you? No. Does it make you more worthy? Hell no. Keep in mind that you weren’t only born to be someone’s girlfriend or wife but so many other, more important things.
  12. You’re not desperate. Honestly, if you really wanted to have a relationship, you could’ve been in one by now. But there are reasons why you’re choosing to be single. For instance, maybe you just don’t want to date for the sake of it or you don’t want to lower your standards, or you’re holding out for that Great Love. Don’t be sad that you don’t have it yet. Start by having a great love with yourself. That way, even if he doesn’t come along, you’ll realize you don’t actually need him.
  13. You can be happy right now. Do you know why you’re feeling like you want to have a boyfriend? Is it so that your life can feel more meaningful, you can stop feeling like a loser at family gatherings, or what? If you’re hoping for a relationship to make you happy, you’ll never be happy—even if Mr. Perfect comes along. Remember that you’re the only one who can make yourself feel happy every day. So what’s stopping you from being happy right now? Absolutely nothing!


Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.